[Those arms are a comfort he sinks into, safe behind the seal of the closed door. His skin is warm where Cy has kissed it. Once released, he drops obediently onto the bed beside the basket, looking at his feet.]
My mind... wasn't clear back then, but I remember everything. [His Sharingan had been activated, after all, so he could not physically forget.] I remember feeling angry. It was the Shadow eating at me, but it was my own emotions that fueled it. Naruto was gone by then. I thought he was dead, permanently, in that place. Laurent was one of the few connections I'd made, but it was fragile and we didn't know how to talk to each other. Still, it was important. I felt closer to him than others.
So... I cornered him. We both knew he didn't have the power to fight back. He became volatile to defend himself. [A breath.] He said cruel words. Maybe he meant some of them. I don't hold it against him — he was afraid.
I believed, once, that I could only achieve my goals if I was alone. I tried to sever every relationship I had through violence if necessary. Kakashi. Sakura. ... Naruto. [His gaze slips sideways, never higher than the floor.] That was how I felt then, like I was reliving it all over again. That I needed to sever Laurent from me.
I tried to get him to fight back, but he wouldn't. So I broke his arm and electrocuted him. It was almost enough to kill him. [Quietly,] Almost. Then I took him inside, because it was snowing. I watched him all night. When he woke, he forced me to leave. I promised he wouldn't see me again.
[There's one more memory between that moment and the end, but even he doesn't know how he would put it into words. And it doesn't matter, because didn't Laurent get his wish? He'll never see him again.]
You're going to say I didn't really want to kill him. Maybe that's true. But I still tried. More than once I've tried. I've killed people who didn't deserve it, soldiers. What if it never stops?
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My mind... wasn't clear back then, but I remember everything. [His Sharingan had been activated, after all, so he could not physically forget.] I remember feeling angry. It was the Shadow eating at me, but it was my own emotions that fueled it. Naruto was gone by then. I thought he was dead, permanently, in that place. Laurent was one of the few connections I'd made, but it was fragile and we didn't know how to talk to each other. Still, it was important. I felt closer to him than others.
So... I cornered him. We both knew he didn't have the power to fight back. He became volatile to defend himself. [A breath.] He said cruel words. Maybe he meant some of them. I don't hold it against him — he was afraid.
I believed, once, that I could only achieve my goals if I was alone. I tried to sever every relationship I had through violence if necessary. Kakashi. Sakura. ... Naruto. [His gaze slips sideways, never higher than the floor.] That was how I felt then, like I was reliving it all over again. That I needed to sever Laurent from me.
I tried to get him to fight back, but he wouldn't. So I broke his arm and electrocuted him. It was almost enough to kill him. [Quietly,] Almost. Then I took him inside, because it was snowing. I watched him all night. When he woke, he forced me to leave. I promised he wouldn't see me again.
[There's one more memory between that moment and the end, but even he doesn't know how he would put it into words. And it doesn't matter, because didn't Laurent get his wish? He'll never see him again.]
You're going to say I didn't really want to kill him. Maybe that's true. But I still tried. More than once I've tried. I've killed people who didn't deserve it, soldiers. What if it never stops?