It's going to affect you. Even years from now, there'll be moments when the pain winds you. When you're having a good day, and things are going well, and — something takes you back. A smell, a sound, a sensation. It never stops. Your ability to manage yourself is what changes.

（ he lets sasuke cry without censure or comment. there's nothing else to be done but to hold him through it. necessary catharsis isn't always pretty. his hand rubs slow circles against his back. ）

And hey, we already are. You've grown so much already, and come so far. This will keep getting easier over time as long as you keep putting that work in. And there might be times when you regress, or fall back on old habits because they're what you learned to rely on to keep you alive. That's part of recovery, too.

（ the trick is to get up one more time than you've been knocked down. ）

Can you do me a favour? Write a letter to this Laurent guy. Even if you never see him again, even if it doesn't matter. You'll feel better if you can articulate your thoughts and feelings down in a productive way. Apologize if you want, get mad if you want, it can be as long or short as you care to think about. Afterwards, you can burn it. I think you'll feel... not better, but. It gets the infection out.