[Those ministrations of care are so gentle, so painstakingly thorough, that at times he cannot fathom they are meant for him. Yet Cy reminds him — the familiar path of hands over his body, smoothing in cream, treating wounds and bruises, cleaning hair and skin. Through the discussion they've navigated and the meticulous preparation to build this scene together, Sasuke knows it is meant more as a demonstration of love, an act of service. Yet part of him finds in that blankness something ancient, ritualistic, shaking off the dust. Less apologetic for its existence than it is an understanding — this is who Cyram is.
So Sasuke isn't deterred or unsettled by that presence, or lack of presence, because he realizes this is Cy showing himself in vulnerability as much as Sasuke has ever done in turn.]
It's effortless with you. [His chin tips to keep the water that Cy uses to soak his matted hair dripping more slowly, caught by a small hand towel.] I don't have to try. Everything I want is what you like; everything you like is what I want.
[He thinks of suggesting a shower, or a return to Cy's room where they'll have a little more space and be removed from where this played out — but they have time. Instead, he simply turns his attention to undressing Cy, tugging at whatever clothing still remains. There isn't much that needs tending when Sasuke was on the receiving end for most acts, but he finds bits of crusted wax he can wipe away, and sweat, and the wet evidence of their coupling.]
When I was first starting out as a genin... our team was only assigned D-rank missions. They were as basic as you can imagine — finding someone's lost cat. Delivering documents across the village. Determining if a woman's husband was being unfaithful. [He leans in toward Cy, craving the contact of bare skin.] They were easy, and I resented this at the time, because I only wanted to improve my abilities and that wouldn't happen by helping an old woman complete her weekly shopping.
[A huff that might be laughter.]
But, looking back, I believe I took those missions for granted. They were the closest I ever interacted with the general population of the village. The civilians. The people who worked, every day, living simple lives. It felt like... a connection between shinobi and the rest of the world, the world we were supposed to be protecting. As the missions became more difficult, the more stratified that connection was. Until the people of the village became a concept rather than anything real.
[Sasuke sets the hand towel aside, absently folding it over.]
I remember an older man once paid for one of these missions. But he didn't have anything for us to do — he just kept making up stupid tasks, like folding the laundry he'd put out to dry, or organizing his library alphabetically. I thought he was losing his mind in old age. Now, I suspect he only wanted the company.
no subject
So Sasuke isn't deterred or unsettled by that presence, or lack of presence, because he realizes this is Cy showing himself in vulnerability as much as Sasuke has ever done in turn.]
It's effortless with you. [His chin tips to keep the water that Cy uses to soak his matted hair dripping more slowly, caught by a small hand towel.] I don't have to try. Everything I want is what you like; everything you like is what I want.
[He thinks of suggesting a shower, or a return to Cy's room where they'll have a little more space and be removed from where this played out — but they have time. Instead, he simply turns his attention to undressing Cy, tugging at whatever clothing still remains. There isn't much that needs tending when Sasuke was on the receiving end for most acts, but he finds bits of crusted wax he can wipe away, and sweat, and the wet evidence of their coupling.]
When I was first starting out as a genin... our team was only assigned D-rank missions. They were as basic as you can imagine — finding someone's lost cat. Delivering documents across the village. Determining if a woman's husband was being unfaithful. [He leans in toward Cy, craving the contact of bare skin.] They were easy, and I resented this at the time, because I only wanted to improve my abilities and that wouldn't happen by helping an old woman complete her weekly shopping.
[A huff that might be laughter.]
But, looking back, I believe I took those missions for granted. They were the closest I ever interacted with the general population of the village. The civilians. The people who worked, every day, living simple lives. It felt like... a connection between shinobi and the rest of the world, the world we were supposed to be protecting. As the missions became more difficult, the more stratified that connection was. Until the people of the village became a concept rather than anything real.
[Sasuke sets the hand towel aside, absently folding it over.]
I remember an older man once paid for one of these missions. But he didn't have anything for us to do — he just kept making up stupid tasks, like folding the laundry he'd put out to dry, or organizing his library alphabetically. I thought he was losing his mind in old age. Now, I suspect he only wanted the company.