[A clean, elegant, lavishly decorated suite in a way that feels somehow barren. He recalls that Tseng had said he's only been here a month, so perhaps that can be attributed to time. Yet Sasuke also can't pretend he would ever know what to do with this much space himself. And there is that quality in the man — a familiar composure, coolness of intellect and demeanor — that he doesn't disregard.]
Then I can't say that I envy you. Despite the treatment of the lower ranks, the anonymity is useful. [Far more than celebrity would be.] It still seems there's no reason or logic behind these assignments of rank.
[Sasuke heads into the living room, eyes lingering with intrigue on the delicate orchid. Something tender and alive — was it deliberately put here by Tseng?]
Just water is fine. I didn't mean for you to host me so... formally. [Look, he's bad at this.] But I appreciate that you reached out.
Anonymity would be much preferred. [ tseng's smile is wry. he's no ninja, but he is much more used to moving in shadow than being in the limelight. ] But I'll find a way to make use of the notoriety, if I must.
[ he waves a hand at the protest, because this isn't really formal hosting in his mind, just the politeness of offering when someone comes over. he's not exactly known as a host, but he's been in enough rich folks' company to know the steps. into the kitchen they go, so tseng can retrieve water for both of them. ]
I didn't want to overstep, but it felt important to make sure you were all right. It was a... hectic week, to say the least.
[He says nothing to the former remark, but there is a part of him that understands it. Power is a weapon just as anonymity is. And it would be impossible to deny the power and influence in the hands of those royal ranks.
Following Tseng into the kitchen, he lingers close to the doorway, looking over polished appliances and sparkling marble countertops. The excess of luxury is vividly present; he does not quite know what to do with himself in this environment except to stand stiffly and observe it.]
For everyone, yes. [It isn't a dismissal of concern, but... He's prickly by nature.] I won't waste what time you've allowed by inviting me here. I wanted to discuss your perspective on the roles of domination and submission. I told you that I was new to it, and that was true. Before arriving here, I understood that dynamic differently due to the context of my own dimension, and it was harmful to my first impression in this place.
[To be blunt:] You're the second person I've ever engaged with in that way. It's not something I do with just anyone. [So — this means something to him.]
[ prickly though he may be, sasuke is certainly not the most disagreeable person tseng has ever interacted with. he hands over a glass of water, then gestures for sasuke to come join him in one of the seats in the living room—this is not the sort of conversation he would have standing aimlessly in the kitchen.
to know that tseng was only sasuke's second ever partner in such a context is moderately surprising and certainly not insignificant. tseng inclines his head slightly in acknowledgement. ] I appreciate your candor. It's not something I take lightly.
[ either the honesty, or sasuke's submission in its entirety. tseng lifts his glance from his glass up to sasuke's face, studying him more keenly now in the clearer light of day. it's not yet clear to him what, if anything, sasuke would like to come of this, but trust is foundational to any relationship and he sees no reason not to be honest, especially when sasuke has already trusted tseng with so much of himself.
he sits back, his posture intentionally left open. ]
Do you have specific questions, or would you like me to speak to my perspective in general?
[He takes the glass, following Tseng out to the living room where he chooses a spot on the other couch, upright and rigid, attention focused on the other man.
For now —]
Your perspective.
[He has other thoughts, and there's a part of him interested in understanding the man he didn't have time to get to know during the events of the game, but this is the first step. And it will influence everything else.]
I'll tell you if I have questions, but for now I only want to know what your interpretation of that dynamic is, between someone who is dominant and someone who is submissive.
[ this is... not something tseng has ever been asked to do before, to speak to his perspective on a d/s relationship. in fact, he hasn't ever even articulated those thoughts to himself, let alone to another person. it feels important that he not fumble, so he's quiet for a long moment to collect and organize his thoughts before he speaks. ]
To begin—I believe that there are nuances to every relationship, and no two will be identical. I also recognize that not all so-called dominants have sufficient respect for their submissives, but such behavior is anathema to me, so I will speak only to what I consider a "good" relationship between a dominant and a submissive.
[ just to clarify. he knows there are some fucks out there who get off on real fear, on being powerful without consideration for the party giving them that power; tseng is not one of them, and he would not do them the honor of including them in his perspective. ]
It is easy to look at a dominant-submissive relationship and think that the dominant party has all the power while the submissive party is powerless entirely. I don't believe this should be true. [ he looks at his glass and rolls it idly between his palms, thinking. ] Of course, there may be an imbalance in physical control during a scene—when one party is restrained, for example, or gagged and unable to speak. But when the relationship has its foundation in mutual trust and respect, and both parties have an understanding of the other's boundaries, then there is an awareness that the dominant has control only because the submissive has afforded it to them, and similarly an awareness that the submissive may revoke that control at any time. I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you.
[ tseng glances up again, a slight wry smile tugging at his lips. ]
It was for this same reason that I told you that I would stop if you said "stop," even if that isn't your safe word. Until we've built that foundation, and until I understand your boundaries and limitations more clearly, I don't feel that I've earned the right to ignore your protestations.
Is this the sort of perspective you're looking for?
[The answer is — meticulous, thorough, and well prefaced. There is something to Tseng's nature that compels him, that is familiar, that convinces him their encounter at the Naked Yolk was not entirely circumstantial. Bereft of that animal impulse now, it's difficult to speak to what he had felt then beyond the all-consuming desire to hunt prey — but Tseng had turned it around on him. Not just anyone could accomplish that. There's no denying this man's demeanor has an effect on him, whether or not he can identify why.
Maybe it doesn't matter.
Sasuke's gaze slips down to his lap, and he drinks from the rim of the glass with a sudden thirst. Then he bends and sets it neatly on the lacquered surface of the coffee table.]
It's not that I'm seeking a specific answer. I wanted to try to understand your mindset better. But I can admit that there's a certain perspective that would make me find you more trustworthy. [And Tseng has said it. The mutual respect is necessary: I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you. He inhales, then releases the breath in a huff.] I haven't even asked if you would be interested in a scenario like that again. Perhaps simply obtaining my card was enough for you.
[This wouldn't offend him. Isn't it what the resort wants of its guests?]
... But the offer is there. And if you take it, there are a few other things I want to discuss. [Now he looks across at the other man, studying that careful demeanor, put-together, nothing out of place.] In addition to the practicalities, I'd want to get to know you. It's not possible for me to easily have sex with people and feel nothing. So you need to be aware of that beforehand.
[Hello, I have emotional issues, you've been warned???]
[ like this, in the comparatively colder light of day, it's a little more difficult for tseng to read sasuke's body language. he carries himself carefully, sits mostly still on the sofa, like he's trying to leave as small a mark on the world around him as possible. his expressions, the ones tseng catches, are minute shifts of his lips or brows, but his gaze is sharp when he meets tseng's eyes. ]
I am interested, very much so. [ there's no prevarication in the way tseng responds. he didn't do it the first time out of a desire to obtain sasuke's card; the card was more of an incidental bonus. and frankly, even if sasuke wasn't offering, he would still want to get to know the other man better—there is a reason he texted to check up on him, after all.
tseng takes another sip of his water, then idly swirls the liquid around the glass as he gazes thoughtfully over at sasuke; something about him is so compelling tseng has a hard time looking away. he'll have to dwell on that later, turn it over in his mind and figure out what it is about sasuke that captivates him this much. ] And I understand. Ask anything you'd like to know. Now, or whenever it occurs to you.
[ he won't always be a completely open book, but at the very least he'll be honest about it when he can't answer something. ]
[Sometimes, it still is surprising to hear an expression of interest that goes beyond the mercenary necessity of the resort's game. His gaze cuts over to Tseng again — gauging the man's coolly handsome features, the tonal quality of his words. Yet nothing so far has triggered any distrust. It's simply in his nature to be suspicious.
Sasuke lets out another breath, shoulders losing a slight rigidity.]
It is. My opinion of the dynamic before was... damaging. I thought that being submissive was a sign of weakness, and that it also needed to be taken by force from a more powerful oppnent. So perhaps you can understand why I had to ask first.
[The value of communication is new to him, but not taken for granted.]
You should know that I like pain. It isn't the only thing I enjoy when in a submissive position, but it's significant. And... I mentioned before that I have someone here who I consider to be my dominant. His name is Cyram — I don't know if you've met him. We're together. He taught me all of this.
[Sasuke would not be here in front of Tseng, able to discuss this openly with a potential new partner, without that instruction. That painstaking education.]
If... giving pain is something you're also interested in, then you would need to speak with him first. And he might decide to supervise. Otherwise, I know enough to tell you what I like and don't like. I'll also give you my safe word. Is that okay?
[ the suspicion doesn't bother tseng at all. if anything, it's reassuring. if sasuke is given to sharp-eyed assessment of the people and circumstances around him, and is committed to re-learning the things he'd been taught about this dynamic before, then in turn tseng feels that he can trust sasuke to speak to his own boundaries, his own tastes, and not just let tseng run roughshod over them. ]
I do. [ he pauses, momentarily, weighs the benefits against the potential risks, and then decides to be honest: ] I've encountered some who felt similarly. In certain... environments, that opinion seems to be common. I'm glad that your opinion has shifted now.
[ thanks in no small part, tseng is sure, to the aforementioned dominant. tseng nods in recognition. ]
We've never spoken, but I know the name. [ he did read back through the entire network in his first week here, after all... which is how he saw cyram's name floated. their circles have never overlapped in the intervening time, but the breathplay primer was interesting, even if it was all stuff tseng already knows. ] I'm happy to meet him if and when you both feel that it's appropriate, and he's welcome to supervise at any time.
[ there is... a certain amount of privilege, tseng knows, in being invited to engage with sasuke this way—a dominant playing with a submissive who already has a dominant for a romantic partner. while it is most important that sasuke feel respected and safe with tseng, he thinks that it's also important for cyram to know sasuke is in good hands. ]
It's okay. Are you giving me your safe word with the expectation that I will respond to it exclusively, or would you like me to continue honoring "stop" and "no" as safe words as well, for the time being? [ tseng nods, then makes another wry expression. ] Also, I realize how this would sound outside this specific context, but—I am both experienced in and good at causing pain, so if you'd like me to know your preferences in that...
[Certain environments. Tseng chooses his words carefully, and he understands — he is product of such an environment. Would the man say the same of his own world? It makes him curious to know, then, how Tseng has come to learn these preferences, how he's fostered this knowledge.
Sasuke gives a small nod.] I'll let him know. Most likely, he'll approach you himself first.
[Any control Cy exercises over him is simply the dressing of a scene in the context of their dynamic — so he won't speak for Cy otherwise. He does think that while the two men appear very different by outer demeanor alone, they already have more in common merely by their perspective on a dominant/submissive relationship alone. Sasuke's interested to know how that conversation would go.
Then, for the rest of what Tseng says —]
I wouldn't count that experience against you, even outside this context. Your world must be a violent one. [It does raise his own curiosity even higher.] For now, you can take "stop" and "no" at face value. Those sorts of scenes where those words arise naturally... [Ahem.] I enjoy them too, but I don't think I could manage it right now. And I'll use "Tsukuyomi" as my safe word as well. [Mismatched eyes turn onto Tseng, surveying him.] Do you have one? A safe word.
[ nice foreshadowing, sasuke. tseng simply nods, accepting that at some point in the not-so-distant future he'll see cy's name in his inbox. it's not necessarily that he expects cy to exercise control over sasuke's day-to-day life—although he has known people for whom that is true!—but rather that he respects their relationship enough to want to make a decent impression on cy too.
it's interesting to hear sasuke describe tseng's world that way. midgar itself, tseng thinks, is not violent, not in the way people might imagine upon hearing the word—the violence of midgar is all closed doors and shadowed rooms, battles done with words and contracts and occasional assassinations. but the world... he thinks of junon, the genesis war. nibelheim. yes, the world is violent. ]
It... can be, yes. Although these days the violence is a subtler kind.
[ it's not like midgar is classified intel, but it feels strange to voluntarily offer information about himself, his world. it's a muscle that tseng has not often exercised. ]
I understand. [ well, he was also thinking about things like overstimulation, where someone might say "stop" and really mean "make me come again," but tseng thinks they'll cross that bridge if they come to it. for now, this is easy: stop, no, and tsukuyomi. the word sounds almost wutaian, although tseng doesn't immediately recognize its meaning. ] What does it mean?
[ if sasuke doesn't want to tell him, he won't push, but he is curious. ]
[It doesn't tell him much, but that's fine, and likewise Sasuke won't press. They have time to learn these things about each other; perhaps there will be plenty Tseng decides not to share, and vice versa. He can't have expectations. Not yet. It's already — tenuous enough, this negotiation, because he isn't practiced at being close to other people.
It was hard enough to decide to come here and speak to Tseng with that voice in his head, denigrating his efforts at connection, assuring him that he would mess it up. But Tseng deserves the communication.
Also, loaded question. Sasuke pauses, as if caught, and his expression is momentarily solemn.]
... I'll tell you one day. Later.
[He fetches the glass of water from the table — finishes it off, neatly, in two wet swallows.]
[ easy. tseng nods, accepting the demurral, and doesn't push again. ]
It is. Green needles and blue berries. [ he holds his fingers up as if to indicate the size of those berries: small, about the size of a pea. ] Many uses, both medicinal and culinary. They...
[ a pause, barely noticeable unless sasuke is paying close attention, as tseng decides how much to say. ]
They were common in... the place I lived when I was a child, [ is what he settles on, almost surprised at his own words. surprised because they're true, and usually tseng can tell the truth or he can reference his childhood, but it is exceedingly rare that he does both at once. ] But not very common elsewhere in the world.
[ it is hard, to allow others close. tseng can hardly hold it against sasuke when he himself is so terribly out of practice, assuming he was ever in practice to begin with. but there are little steps they can take, he thinks—small honesties, ones that may one day become deeper truths. ]
[He does pay attention — a skill of observation not readily disengaged — but he won't call it out. The way Tseng describes the plant is familiar, and he suspects he's seen it either out in the wilderness of his own world's forests or else in the resort's gardens, but... it is the admission that surprises him most.
The place I lived when I was a child. That bears a heavy weight of significance, then.]
You might find it here, if you haven't already checked. [And Sasuke will soon be looking for his own curiosity. Green needles and blue berries.] There's a variety of flora that doesn't makes sense, given the artificial environment.
[Weird dimensional magic or something.]
... That's an alcohol. No, I haven't tried it. I don't drink often. [Ever might be more accurate, but in this place—] Are you fond of gin?
Edited (late night tagging help) 2024-04-20 05:53 (UTC)
I haven't checked, but I imagine you're right. I'll have to look eventually.
[ considering he saw juniper essential oil in the sauna tseng is fairly sure there have to be juniper trees around somewhere, but he hasn't gone looking for them. he hasn't had a reason to, up until now; now, he'll go just so he can tell sasuke whether he found any, next time they speak.
tseng smiles just slightly at sasuke's assessment: that's an alcohol. said very much like someone who doesn't drink often, if at all. mentally, a note not to offer him liquor. ]
It is an alcohol. It's made with juniper berries and is very much an acquired taste, but I suppose it grew on me at some point.
[ and then it became his safe word, because it is something he'd never say during sex anyway, and because the association with childhood is so strong that he knows if he reaches for it, he'll mean it. ]
If you don't mind a personal question, [ hopefully by now sasuke's realized that tseng doesn't mind if he declines to answer, ] what was it that drew you to this dynamic? I mean when you arrived here.
[It makes him curious about this alcohol — his reason for abstinence is primarily the effect on cognition and perception, slurring the senses in a way that may prove lethal, or at least lower his defenses enough to make disadvantage possible. It's just nothing he has ever craved to experience. Yet here, where threats of survival are minimal and with a foundation of trust laid out, perhaps he could try it. Gin.
Tseng's question surprises him, but he doesn't turn it away.]
I don't mind. [It's relevant to the conversation, after all. And — it will help them learn about each other.] Initially, when the concept was first described to me, I expected that I would be more dominant for the reasons I already told you.
[That submission is weakness, and dominance victory.]
Once I understood better what it meant in that dynamic, I found that I... enjoyed surrendering power. Control. [It is harder to admit the other side of it; Sasuke's eyes slip down, and though he doesn't shift uncomfortably there is faint color to his face.] And I enjoyed being taken care of, afterward.
[Because that part had been wholly and utterly new.]
With pain especially, there's a certain mindset that I find. I believe the proper term for it is "subspace." I am no longer — aware of anything but sensation, and my thoughts aren't in the way of that experience. Something like that is rare for me otherwise. I'm used to pain, so my tolerance is high. Perhaps that also helps.
[ what tseng understands of sasuke: that he scans every room he walks into. that his hands are rough from handling weapons, and that he was raised to view submission as a sign of weakness. that he thinks far more than he speaks, that he's serious and taciturn. tseng can understand the appeal of relinquishing control, for someone like that—as well as the appeal of being cared for in the aftermath.
watching sasuke blush a little as he talks about it is... cute, in a way tseng wasn't expecting. it feels like a glimpse under the outward armor, like being allowed to see the softer and more tender parts of himself that sasuke keeps so carefully guarded. tseng nods, smiling slightly. ]
Based on what you've suggested about your world, I can imagine that aftercare wasn't commonplace. [ he's glad that sasuke's outlook has changed, in this place. ] But I'm glad to hear you enjoy receiving it now, because I enjoy giving it.
[ he thinks for a moment, on the subject of pain and subspace. if that kind of play is likely to send sasuke to a mental place where he won't have the wherewithal to use his safe word, then it makes even more sense that cyram would want to supervise, at least toward the beginning. ]
[An accurate deduction. Tseng is clever, in that way he would have found himself naturally more careful around — barring the circumstances they've found themselves in, which introduces intimacy. He was honest before: he doesn't regret it. It may have been challenging at first to consider opening himself up to someone else's control, given his own limited experience, but Tseng has deftly smoothed that wrinkle of uncertainty.
As if some difficulty of tension has passed, he allows himself to lean back against the couch.]
I want to know the same for you — what drew you to the dynamic. I know you've said that you had experience prior to this place, so you must come from a world where it's possible. Is it Earth?
[That one has seemed most common across his conversations.]
[ and just like that, the opportunity to be honest in turn. with anyone else, tseng might deflect the question, offer a half-answer and then send the conversation down a different but parallel track. not with sasuke, though; he promised this much and he intends to hold to it. ]
No. My world is called Gaia. [ which is apparently also something that people from earth call earth, but tseng doesn't know that yet! ] And I came here from a city called Midgar.
[ he pauses to think through how best to explain the meandering trail of circumstances that led him to this, where he is now. a full explanation also requires, perhaps, some context about tseng's career. ]
I was introduced to the concept fifteen or sixteen years ago. At the time, I was a newer recruit to the unit I now lead, and my position largely involved personal security and intelligence-gathering. We had a contact inside a club not unlike the Naked Yolk, one that catered to clientele with specific tastes. [ briefly, tseng's gaze flickers somewhere to the left of sasuke's face, recalling the club, its proprietor, the people who worked there. even before he came to this place it had been a long time since he'd seen any of them. ] At the time, I felt similarly to you—that dominance was about seizing control, not being given control. That submission was weakness and something to be punished.
[ because that was what his life had taught him, up until that point. likely it's what his life would have continued to teach him, if not for outside influence.
the next part comes after a pause. slower, more deliberate. words he's not accustomed to saying aloud. ]
I suspect the madam of the house saw something in me, because as I got older she slowly brought me into her fold. As a necessity of my position I was trained in how to capture and torture and kill, and from her and those in her employ I learned how to use those same skills to bring pleasure instead of pain. [ a nod, acknowledging. ] Or pain for the sake of pleasure, sometimes. In some ways, the fact that I know so many ways to seize control from someone who doesn't want to give it is what makes me appreciate it all the more when I'm granted the opportunity to take control not by force, but by consent.
[Gaia. That one, he doesn't know — and he'll hold onto it, along with Midgar. It doesn't surprise him to learn of Tseng's occupation in the context of everything else he's observed; he knew Tseng was no ordinary man, for the commanding aura he wields was not carved of nothing. He has met enough men with enough violent skills to recognize the pattern in another. Personal security and intelligence — both well-situated in the context of everything else. The attention to detail, the calm composure, the obscurity.
Tseng describes the club and the madam carefully, and he listens, valuing that honesty. He finds himself wondering if it is better that his own world did not have such places; he also questions whether it is to the detriment of his own people, that those emotions are instead practiced violently, mercilessly upon battlefield opponents. He wonders what it means for Tseng that he is trained to torture and kill — how he came to learn these things, and why it is his identity now.]
I can see what drew you to it. And it was fortunate you found someone like that woman, who could teach you. [The giving and taking of pleasure is so new to him, that he struggles to form it into words even now, but he tries, because he wants to. And Tseng will need to know.] I enjoy acts such as — impact play. But I'm not only interested in pain. So... don't feel like you have to do that for my own sake, if it isn't your particular preference.
What was your position called? The one you held before you arrived here.
[ while the statement doesn't necessarily seem to be couched in concern for tseng himself, it's still a kind thing for sasuke to say, and tseng nods his head in acknowledgement. ]
I appreciate that. Please rest assured I very rarely do things I don't want to do. [ and usually those things are on direct orders from his supervisors, at that, none of whom are here with him, and also none of whom would be interested in giving him orders related to his sex life. tseng doesn't smile, exactly, but there is a little warmth in his gaze as he glances at sasuke again. ] My preferences skew heavily towards "whatever will get my partner off," but in point of fact, impact play and other types of pain play are among my genuine interests as well.
[ so it won't be solely for sasuke's sake that tseng does it, if they reach that point—it will be because it turns him on, too. mutual enjoyment. ]
Formally, I am the director of the Administrative Research sector of the General Affairs department. [ which he's aware is the most incredible nothingburger of a job title ever to exist. it was designed that way, after all, so the general public wouldn't immediately be able to clock them as special ops. ] Informally, we are called the Turks. Are you asking because you're curious about my job title, or to better understand what I did in the course of my duties?
[There's nothing in Tseng's response that would cause him to assume an agreement of interests for any pacifying reason. The man is too self-possessed, too confident for that. So he nods his head, understanding that it may be some time before they ever approach such an act but also aware it will be mutual when they do.
And Sasuke understands. Those preferences in himself — they are intricately attached to the enjoyment of his partner, which up to this point has almost strictly been one man.]
... Both, but mostly the latter. You said that your skills were part of why you excelled at — domination. My own world has similar entities who exist in the shadows, for intelligence or other covert purposes. So I'm not unfamiliar with that, even if it isn't something I've participated in directly as an agent myself. [Too busy being an international terrorist trying to take down the whole system. :clown:] I am what you would know as a shinobi. My world is well accustomed to violence and war.
[He thinks of that name, Turks, as he looks across at the other man. It fits into the particular puzzle of his own... attraction, at least. He can't deny that.]
You don't have to go into detail, but I'm curious what your position entailed.
We would call them ninja. [ tseng knows the term, and after the war in wutai he's more than passingly familiar with the profession. it's a curious overlap, although sasuke does look wutaian, with the shade of his hair and the shape of his eyes. he and tseng are alike in that way. ] What an interesting overlap.
[ and assuming that the ninja of wutai and the ninja of sasuke's world are even remotely similar, that gives tseng plenty of insight into what sasuke might have seen or done over the course of his life. at least as far as tseng is concerned, a world unaccustomed to violence and war is one where the skills of a ninja are in much lower demand.
he looks briefly down at his hands, considering the question of detail, and then looks up again. honestly, more complicated than deciding what to say is deciding how much is likely to bore sasuke with context before they even get to the interesting parts. ]
The company I work for is also the de facto government of very nearly the entire world. [ may as well start from the beginning. it is impossible to understand the turks without also understanding shinra, at least generally. plus, technically, nothing he's saying wouldn't be common knowlege to a well-informed citizen of midgar. ] The company has exclusive control over the technology that allows for the conversion of planetary energy into electricity.
Our former president, may he rest in peace, [ tseng says, with a layer of chill in his voice that suggests that shinra senior can rot for all he cares, ] was an... ambitious man who dreamed of greater things, often without regard for collateral damage. As you can imagine, this painted certain targets on the backs of both the president and the company.
[ another pause. this is where he begins to leave the territory of "things any well-informed midgar citizen would know" and begins to enter the territory of... testing the concept of being honest. ]
The Turks were conceived initially as personal security for the executives of the company. Over time, our organization has evolved into a unit of special operatives whose function does include personal security, but also intelligence and kompromat, infiltration, and a few more practical tasks—interrogation, for example.
[ and assassination. he doesn't say it, but he doesn't think he'll need to in order for sasuke to understand. ]
[The entire world? His first thought is — Tseng must have influence. To be a director belonging to such a company would require it. It's enough to make the translations in his own mind, where the ANBU might stand in comparison to the Turks, the company for the government of a hidden village, even the president for the Hokage.
Differences, of course, arise naturally. Energy is not something necessary when it is a feature inherent to existence, and chakra isn't used for electricity regardless. But he's beginning to get a better glimpse of Midgar, which is likely much more technologically advanced than the countries of his own world, so it makes logical sense.
Mismatched eyes drift to Tseng's face as he reads that tone. Former president.]
I'm familiar with... organizations of that nature, although their presence is well-known, at least among those who live in shinobi villages. The Intelligence Division might be the most comparable, since there's a separate specialization within it for Torture and Interrogation. But everything that the people of my world can do relies upon and requires something called chakra, a force of energy. People are born with it, and they can learn to use it, but not everyone will have the same innate ability. Those who become shinobi... they train apart from civilians as soldiers loyal to their village.
[Of course, that loyalty can be bought, changed, corrupted. And rogue shinobi exist plentifully.]
It sounds like the Turks have to act more covertly within Midgar. And you lead them? How many members belong to this group? [He considers this question, chin tipping forward.] Sorry. I'm only asking out of interest. It's the first time I've spoken to someone who comes from a world with similar features, even if it isn't the same. But... if it's too private to share I understand.
[Not that he's going to?? crash into Midgar any time soon? But he'd understand Tseng's reticence still.]
no subject
Then I can't say that I envy you. Despite the treatment of the lower ranks, the anonymity is useful. [Far more than celebrity would be.] It still seems there's no reason or logic behind these assignments of rank.
[Sasuke heads into the living room, eyes lingering with intrigue on the delicate orchid. Something tender and alive — was it deliberately put here by Tseng?]
Just water is fine. I didn't mean for you to host me so... formally. [Look, he's bad at this.] But I appreciate that you reached out.
no subject
[ he waves a hand at the protest, because this isn't really formal hosting in his mind, just the politeness of offering when someone comes over. he's not exactly known as a host, but he's been in enough rich folks' company to know the steps. into the kitchen they go, so tseng can retrieve water for both of them. ]
I didn't want to overstep, but it felt important to make sure you were all right. It was a... hectic week, to say the least.
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Following Tseng into the kitchen, he lingers close to the doorway, looking over polished appliances and sparkling marble countertops. The excess of luxury is vividly present; he does not quite know what to do with himself in this environment except to stand stiffly and observe it.]
For everyone, yes. [It isn't a dismissal of concern, but... He's prickly by nature.] I won't waste what time you've allowed by inviting me here. I wanted to discuss your perspective on the roles of domination and submission. I told you that I was new to it, and that was true. Before arriving here, I understood that dynamic differently due to the context of my own dimension, and it was harmful to my first impression in this place.
[To be blunt:] You're the second person I've ever engaged with in that way. It's not something I do with just anyone. [So — this means something to him.]
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to know that tseng was only sasuke's second ever partner in such a context is moderately surprising and certainly not insignificant. tseng inclines his head slightly in acknowledgement. ] I appreciate your candor. It's not something I take lightly.
[ either the honesty, or sasuke's submission in its entirety. tseng lifts his glance from his glass up to sasuke's face, studying him more keenly now in the clearer light of day. it's not yet clear to him what, if anything, sasuke would like to come of this, but trust is foundational to any relationship and he sees no reason not to be honest, especially when sasuke has already trusted tseng with so much of himself.
he sits back, his posture intentionally left open. ]
Do you have specific questions, or would you like me to speak to my perspective in general?
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For now —]
Your perspective.
[He has other thoughts, and there's a part of him interested in understanding the man he didn't have time to get to know during the events of the game, but this is the first step. And it will influence everything else.]
I'll tell you if I have questions, but for now I only want to know what your interpretation of that dynamic is, between someone who is dominant and someone who is submissive.
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[ this is... not something tseng has ever been asked to do before, to speak to his perspective on a d/s relationship. in fact, he hasn't ever even articulated those thoughts to himself, let alone to another person. it feels important that he not fumble, so he's quiet for a long moment to collect and organize his thoughts before he speaks. ]
To begin—I believe that there are nuances to every relationship, and no two will be identical. I also recognize that not all so-called dominants have sufficient respect for their submissives, but such behavior is anathema to me, so I will speak only to what I consider a "good" relationship between a dominant and a submissive.
[ just to clarify. he knows there are some fucks out there who get off on real fear, on being powerful without consideration for the party giving them that power; tseng is not one of them, and he would not do them the honor of including them in his perspective. ]
It is easy to look at a dominant-submissive relationship and think that the dominant party has all the power while the submissive party is powerless entirely. I don't believe this should be true. [ he looks at his glass and rolls it idly between his palms, thinking. ] Of course, there may be an imbalance in physical control during a scene—when one party is restrained, for example, or gagged and unable to speak. But when the relationship has its foundation in mutual trust and respect, and both parties have an understanding of the other's boundaries, then there is an awareness that the dominant has control only because the submissive has afforded it to them, and similarly an awareness that the submissive may revoke that control at any time. I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you.
[ tseng glances up again, a slight wry smile tugging at his lips. ]
It was for this same reason that I told you that I would stop if you said "stop," even if that isn't your safe word. Until we've built that foundation, and until I understand your boundaries and limitations more clearly, I don't feel that I've earned the right to ignore your protestations.
Is this the sort of perspective you're looking for?
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Maybe it doesn't matter.
Sasuke's gaze slips down to his lap, and he drinks from the rim of the glass with a sudden thirst. Then he bends and sets it neatly on the lacquered surface of the coffee table.]
It's not that I'm seeking a specific answer. I wanted to try to understand your mindset better. But I can admit that there's a certain perspective that would make me find you more trustworthy. [And Tseng has said it. The mutual respect is necessary: I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you. He inhales, then releases the breath in a huff.] I haven't even asked if you would be interested in a scenario like that again. Perhaps simply obtaining my card was enough for you.
[This wouldn't offend him. Isn't it what the resort wants of its guests?]
... But the offer is there. And if you take it, there are a few other things I want to discuss. [Now he looks across at the other man, studying that careful demeanor, put-together, nothing out of place.] In addition to the practicalities, I'd want to get to know you. It's not possible for me to easily have sex with people and feel nothing. So you need to be aware of that beforehand.
[Hello, I have emotional issues, you've been warned???]
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I am interested, very much so. [ there's no prevarication in the way tseng responds. he didn't do it the first time out of a desire to obtain sasuke's card; the card was more of an incidental bonus. and frankly, even if sasuke wasn't offering, he would still want to get to know the other man better—there is a reason he texted to check up on him, after all.
tseng takes another sip of his water, then idly swirls the liquid around the glass as he gazes thoughtfully over at sasuke; something about him is so compelling tseng has a hard time looking away. he'll have to dwell on that later, turn it over in his mind and figure out what it is about sasuke that captivates him this much. ] And I understand. Ask anything you'd like to know. Now, or whenever it occurs to you.
[ he won't always be a completely open book, but at the very least he'll be honest about it when he can't answer something. ]
I'll do the same, if that's all right with you.
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Sasuke lets out another breath, shoulders losing a slight rigidity.]
It is. My opinion of the dynamic before was... damaging. I thought that being submissive was a sign of weakness, and that it also needed to be taken by force from a more powerful oppnent. So perhaps you can understand why I had to ask first.
[The value of communication is new to him, but not taken for granted.]
You should know that I like pain. It isn't the only thing I enjoy when in a submissive position, but it's significant. And... I mentioned before that I have someone here who I consider to be my dominant. His name is Cyram — I don't know if you've met him. We're together. He taught me all of this.
[Sasuke would not be here in front of Tseng, able to discuss this openly with a potential new partner, without that instruction. That painstaking education.]
If... giving pain is something you're also interested in, then you would need to speak with him first. And he might decide to supervise. Otherwise, I know enough to tell you what I like and don't like. I'll also give you my safe word. Is that okay?
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I do. [ he pauses, momentarily, weighs the benefits against the potential risks, and then decides to be honest: ] I've encountered some who felt similarly. In certain... environments, that opinion seems to be common. I'm glad that your opinion has shifted now.
[ thanks in no small part, tseng is sure, to the aforementioned dominant. tseng nods in recognition. ]
We've never spoken, but I know the name. [ he did read back through the entire network in his first week here, after all... which is how he saw cyram's name floated. their circles have never overlapped in the intervening time, but the breathplay primer was interesting, even if it was all stuff tseng already knows. ] I'm happy to meet him if and when you both feel that it's appropriate, and he's welcome to supervise at any time.
[ there is... a certain amount of privilege, tseng knows, in being invited to engage with sasuke this way—a dominant playing with a submissive who already has a dominant for a romantic partner. while it is most important that sasuke feel respected and safe with tseng, he thinks that it's also important for cyram to know sasuke is in good hands. ]
It's okay. Are you giving me your safe word with the expectation that I will respond to it exclusively, or would you like me to continue honoring "stop" and "no" as safe words as well, for the time being? [ tseng nods, then makes another wry expression. ] Also, I realize how this would sound outside this specific context, but—I am both experienced in and good at causing pain, so if you'd like me to know your preferences in that...
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Sasuke gives a small nod.] I'll let him know. Most likely, he'll approach you himself first.
[Any control Cy exercises over him is simply the dressing of a scene in the context of their dynamic — so he won't speak for Cy otherwise. He does think that while the two men appear very different by outer demeanor alone, they already have more in common merely by their perspective on a dominant/submissive relationship alone. Sasuke's interested to know how that conversation would go.
Then, for the rest of what Tseng says —]
I wouldn't count that experience against you, even outside this context. Your world must be a violent one. [It does raise his own curiosity even higher.] For now, you can take "stop" and "no" at face value. Those sorts of scenes where those words arise naturally... [Ahem.] I enjoy them too, but I don't think I could manage it right now. And I'll use "Tsukuyomi" as my safe word as well. [Mismatched eyes turn onto Tseng, surveying him.] Do you have one? A safe word.
[The effort of trust must be mutual, after all.]
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it's interesting to hear sasuke describe tseng's world that way. midgar itself, tseng thinks, is not violent, not in the way people might imagine upon hearing the word—the violence of midgar is all closed doors and shadowed rooms, battles done with words and contracts and occasional assassinations. but the world... he thinks of junon, the genesis war. nibelheim. yes, the world is violent. ]
It... can be, yes. Although these days the violence is a subtler kind.
[ it's not like midgar is classified intel, but it feels strange to voluntarily offer information about himself, his world. it's a muscle that tseng has not often exercised. ]
I understand. [ well, he was also thinking about things like overstimulation, where someone might say "stop" and really mean "make me come again," but tseng thinks they'll cross that bridge if they come to it. for now, this is easy: stop, no, and tsukuyomi. the word sounds almost wutaian, although tseng doesn't immediately recognize its meaning. ] What does it mean?
[ if sasuke doesn't want to tell him, he won't push, but he is curious. ]
Mine is "juniper."
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It was hard enough to decide to come here and speak to Tseng with that voice in his head, denigrating his efforts at connection, assuring him that he would mess it up. But Tseng deserves the communication.
Also, loaded question. Sasuke pauses, as if caught, and his expression is momentarily solemn.]
... I'll tell you one day. Later.
[He fetches the glass of water from the table — finishes it off, neatly, in two wet swallows.]
Juniper. That's a plant. Isn't it?
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It is. Green needles and blue berries. [ he holds his fingers up as if to indicate the size of those berries: small, about the size of a pea. ] Many uses, both medicinal and culinary. They...
[ a pause, barely noticeable unless sasuke is paying close attention, as tseng decides how much to say. ]
They were common in... the place I lived when I was a child, [ is what he settles on, almost surprised at his own words. surprised because they're true, and usually tseng can tell the truth or he can reference his childhood, but it is exceedingly rare that he does both at once. ] But not very common elsewhere in the world.
[ it is hard, to allow others close. tseng can hardly hold it against sasuke when he himself is so terribly out of practice, assuming he was ever in practice to begin with. but there are little steps they can take, he thinks—small honesties, ones that may one day become deeper truths. ]
Have you tried gin before?
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The place I lived when I was a child. That bears a heavy weight of significance, then.]
You might find it here, if you haven't already checked. [And Sasuke will soon be looking for his own curiosity. Green needles and blue berries.] There's a variety of flora that doesn't makes sense, given the artificial environment.
[Weird dimensional magic or something.]
... That's an alcohol. No, I haven't tried it. I don't drink often. [Ever might be more accurate, but in this place—] Are you fond of gin?
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[ considering he saw juniper essential oil in the sauna tseng is fairly sure there have to be juniper trees around somewhere, but he hasn't gone looking for them. he hasn't had a reason to, up until now; now, he'll go just so he can tell sasuke whether he found any, next time they speak.
tseng smiles just slightly at sasuke's assessment: that's an alcohol. said very much like someone who doesn't drink often, if at all. mentally, a note not to offer him liquor. ]
It is an alcohol. It's made with juniper berries and is very much an acquired taste, but I suppose it grew on me at some point.
[ and then it became his safe word, because it is something he'd never say during sex anyway, and because the association with childhood is so strong that he knows if he reaches for it, he'll mean it. ]
If you don't mind a personal question, [ hopefully by now sasuke's realized that tseng doesn't mind if he declines to answer, ] what was it that drew you to this dynamic? I mean when you arrived here.
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Tseng's question surprises him, but he doesn't turn it away.]
I don't mind. [It's relevant to the conversation, after all. And — it will help them learn about each other.] Initially, when the concept was first described to me, I expected that I would be more dominant for the reasons I already told you.
[That submission is weakness, and dominance victory.]
Once I understood better what it meant in that dynamic, I found that I... enjoyed surrendering power. Control. [It is harder to admit the other side of it; Sasuke's eyes slip down, and though he doesn't shift uncomfortably there is faint color to his face.] And I enjoyed being taken care of, afterward.
[Because that part had been wholly and utterly new.]
With pain especially, there's a certain mindset that I find. I believe the proper term for it is "subspace." I am no longer — aware of anything but sensation, and my thoughts aren't in the way of that experience. Something like that is rare for me otherwise. I'm used to pain, so my tolerance is high. Perhaps that also helps.
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watching sasuke blush a little as he talks about it is... cute, in a way tseng wasn't expecting. it feels like a glimpse under the outward armor, like being allowed to see the softer and more tender parts of himself that sasuke keeps so carefully guarded. tseng nods, smiling slightly. ]
Based on what you've suggested about your world, I can imagine that aftercare wasn't commonplace. [ he's glad that sasuke's outlook has changed, in this place. ] But I'm glad to hear you enjoy receiving it now, because I enjoy giving it.
[ he thinks for a moment, on the subject of pain and subspace. if that kind of play is likely to send sasuke to a mental place where he won't have the wherewithal to use his safe word, then it makes even more sense that cyram would want to supervise, at least toward the beginning. ]
Is there anything you'd like to know about me?
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As if some difficulty of tension has passed, he allows himself to lean back against the couch.]
I want to know the same for you — what drew you to the dynamic. I know you've said that you had experience prior to this place, so you must come from a world where it's possible. Is it Earth?
[That one has seemed most common across his conversations.]
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No. My world is called Gaia. [ which is apparently also something that people from earth call earth, but tseng doesn't know that yet! ] And I came here from a city called Midgar.
[ he pauses to think through how best to explain the meandering trail of circumstances that led him to this, where he is now. a full explanation also requires, perhaps, some context about tseng's career. ]
I was introduced to the concept fifteen or sixteen years ago. At the time, I was a newer recruit to the unit I now lead, and my position largely involved personal security and intelligence-gathering. We had a contact inside a club not unlike the Naked Yolk, one that catered to clientele with specific tastes. [ briefly, tseng's gaze flickers somewhere to the left of sasuke's face, recalling the club, its proprietor, the people who worked there. even before he came to this place it had been a long time since he'd seen any of them. ] At the time, I felt similarly to you—that dominance was about seizing control, not being given control. That submission was weakness and something to be punished.
[ because that was what his life had taught him, up until that point. likely it's what his life would have continued to teach him, if not for outside influence.
the next part comes after a pause. slower, more deliberate. words he's not accustomed to saying aloud. ]
I suspect the madam of the house saw something in me, because as I got older she slowly brought me into her fold. As a necessity of my position I was trained in how to capture and torture and kill, and from her and those in her employ I learned how to use those same skills to bring pleasure instead of pain. [ a nod, acknowledging. ] Or pain for the sake of pleasure, sometimes. In some ways, the fact that I know so many ways to seize control from someone who doesn't want to give it is what makes me appreciate it all the more when I'm granted the opportunity to take control not by force, but by consent.
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Tseng describes the club and the madam carefully, and he listens, valuing that honesty. He finds himself wondering if it is better that his own world did not have such places; he also questions whether it is to the detriment of his own people, that those emotions are instead practiced violently, mercilessly upon battlefield opponents. He wonders what it means for Tseng that he is trained to torture and kill — how he came to learn these things, and why it is his identity now.]
I can see what drew you to it. And it was fortunate you found someone like that woman, who could teach you. [The giving and taking of pleasure is so new to him, that he struggles to form it into words even now, but he tries, because he wants to. And Tseng will need to know.] I enjoy acts such as — impact play. But I'm not only interested in pain. So... don't feel like you have to do that for my own sake, if it isn't your particular preference.
What was your position called? The one you held before you arrived here.
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I appreciate that. Please rest assured I very rarely do things I don't want to do. [ and usually those things are on direct orders from his supervisors, at that, none of whom are here with him, and also none of whom would be interested in giving him orders related to his sex life. tseng doesn't smile, exactly, but there is a little warmth in his gaze as he glances at sasuke again. ] My preferences skew heavily towards "whatever will get my partner off," but in point of fact, impact play and other types of pain play are among my genuine interests as well.
[ so it won't be solely for sasuke's sake that tseng does it, if they reach that point—it will be because it turns him on, too. mutual enjoyment. ]
Formally, I am the director of the Administrative Research sector of the General Affairs department. [ which he's aware is the most incredible nothingburger of a job title ever to exist. it was designed that way, after all, so the general public wouldn't immediately be able to clock them as special ops. ] Informally, we are called the Turks. Are you asking because you're curious about my job title, or to better understand what I did in the course of my duties?
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And Sasuke understands. Those preferences in himself — they are intricately attached to the enjoyment of his partner, which up to this point has almost strictly been one man.]
... Both, but mostly the latter. You said that your skills were part of why you excelled at — domination. My own world has similar entities who exist in the shadows, for intelligence or other covert purposes. So I'm not unfamiliar with that, even if it isn't something I've participated in directly as an agent myself. [Too busy being an international terrorist trying to take down the whole system. :clown:] I am what you would know as a shinobi. My world is well accustomed to violence and war.
[He thinks of that name, Turks, as he looks across at the other man. It fits into the particular puzzle of his own... attraction, at least. He can't deny that.]
You don't have to go into detail, but I'm curious what your position entailed.
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[ and assuming that the ninja of wutai and the ninja of sasuke's world are even remotely similar, that gives tseng plenty of insight into what sasuke might have seen or done over the course of his life. at least as far as tseng is concerned, a world unaccustomed to violence and war is one where the skills of a ninja are in much lower demand.
he looks briefly down at his hands, considering the question of detail, and then looks up again. honestly, more complicated than deciding what to say is deciding how much is likely to bore sasuke with context before they even get to the interesting parts. ]
The company I work for is also the de facto government of very nearly the entire world. [ may as well start from the beginning. it is impossible to understand the turks without also understanding shinra, at least generally. plus, technically, nothing he's saying wouldn't be common knowlege to a well-informed citizen of midgar. ] The company has exclusive control over the technology that allows for the conversion of planetary energy into electricity.
Our former president, may he rest in peace, [ tseng says, with a layer of chill in his voice that suggests that shinra senior can rot for all he cares, ] was an... ambitious man who dreamed of greater things, often without regard for collateral damage. As you can imagine, this painted certain targets on the backs of both the president and the company.
[ another pause. this is where he begins to leave the territory of "things any well-informed midgar citizen would know" and begins to enter the territory of... testing the concept of being honest. ]
The Turks were conceived initially as personal security for the executives of the company. Over time, our organization has evolved into a unit of special operatives whose function does include personal security, but also intelligence and kompromat, infiltration, and a few more practical tasks—interrogation, for example.
[ and assassination. he doesn't say it, but he doesn't think he'll need to in order for sasuke to understand. ]
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Differences, of course, arise naturally. Energy is not something necessary when it is a feature inherent to existence, and chakra isn't used for electricity regardless. But he's beginning to get a better glimpse of Midgar, which is likely much more technologically advanced than the countries of his own world, so it makes logical sense.
Mismatched eyes drift to Tseng's face as he reads that tone. Former president.]
I'm familiar with... organizations of that nature, although their presence is well-known, at least among those who live in shinobi villages. The Intelligence Division might be the most comparable, since there's a separate specialization within it for Torture and Interrogation. But everything that the people of my world can do relies upon and requires something called chakra, a force of energy. People are born with it, and they can learn to use it, but not everyone will have the same innate ability. Those who become shinobi... they train apart from civilians as soldiers loyal to their village.
[Of course, that loyalty can be bought, changed, corrupted. And rogue shinobi exist plentifully.]
It sounds like the Turks have to act more covertly within Midgar. And you lead them? How many members belong to this group? [He considers this question, chin tipping forward.] Sorry. I'm only asking out of interest. It's the first time I've spoken to someone who comes from a world with similar features, even if it isn't the same. But... if it's too private to share I understand.
[Not that he's going to?? crash into Midgar any time soon? But he'd understand Tseng's reticence still.]
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