chokuto: (pic#15621057)
🍅 ([personal profile] chokuto) wrote2023-12-31 09:13 am

+


UN: 火
𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 / 𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐎 / 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 / 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖
𝟖♣ ( 𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝑳𝑼𝑩𝑺 )
nonvoting: (stretch me like a leather rope)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-16 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Anonymity would be much preferred. [ tseng's smile is wry. he's no ninja, but he is much more used to moving in shadow than being in the limelight. ] But I'll find a way to make use of the notoriety, if I must.

[ he waves a hand at the protest, because this isn't really formal hosting in his mind, just the politeness of offering when someone comes over. he's not exactly known as a host, but he's been in enough rich folks' company to know the steps. into the kitchen they go, so tseng can retrieve water for both of them. ]

I didn't want to overstep, but it felt important to make sure you were all right. It was a... hectic week, to say the least.
nonvoting: (i climb into your walls)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-17 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ prickly though he may be, sasuke is certainly not the most disagreeable person tseng has ever interacted with. he hands over a glass of water, then gestures for sasuke to come join him in one of the seats in the living room—this is not the sort of conversation he would have standing aimlessly in the kitchen.

to know that tseng was only sasuke's second ever partner in such a context is moderately surprising and certainly not insignificant. tseng inclines his head slightly in acknowledgement. ]
I appreciate your candor. It's not something I take lightly.

[ either the honesty, or sasuke's submission in its entirety. tseng lifts his glance from his glass up to sasuke's face, studying him more keenly now in the clearer light of day. it's not yet clear to him what, if anything, sasuke would like to come of this, but trust is foundational to any relationship and he sees no reason not to be honest, especially when sasuke has already trusted tseng with so much of himself.

he sits back, his posture intentionally left open. ]


Do you have specific questions, or would you like me to speak to my perspective in general?
nonvoting: (it's an airless black chasm)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-18 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Very well.

[ this is... not something tseng has ever been asked to do before, to speak to his perspective on a d/s relationship. in fact, he hasn't ever even articulated those thoughts to himself, let alone to another person. it feels important that he not fumble, so he's quiet for a long moment to collect and organize his thoughts before he speaks. ]

To begin—I believe that there are nuances to every relationship, and no two will be identical. I also recognize that not all so-called dominants have sufficient respect for their submissives, but such behavior is anathema to me, so I will speak only to what I consider a "good" relationship between a dominant and a submissive.

[ just to clarify. he knows there are some fucks out there who get off on real fear, on being powerful without consideration for the party giving them that power; tseng is not one of them, and he would not do them the honor of including them in his perspective. ]

It is easy to look at a dominant-submissive relationship and think that the dominant party has all the power while the submissive party is powerless entirely. I don't believe this should be true. [ he looks at his glass and rolls it idly between his palms, thinking. ] Of course, there may be an imbalance in physical control during a scene—when one party is restrained, for example, or gagged and unable to speak. But when the relationship has its foundation in mutual trust and respect, and both parties have an understanding of the other's boundaries, then there is an awareness that the dominant has control only because the submissive has afforded it to them, and similarly an awareness that the submissive may revoke that control at any time. I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you.

[ tseng glances up again, a slight wry smile tugging at his lips. ]

It was for this same reason that I told you that I would stop if you said "stop," even if that isn't your safe word. Until we've built that foundation, and until I understand your boundaries and limitations more clearly, I don't feel that I've earned the right to ignore your protestations.

Is this the sort of perspective you're looking for?
nonvoting: (shape into your form)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-19 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ like this, in the comparatively colder light of day, it's a little more difficult for tseng to read sasuke's body language. he carries himself carefully, sits mostly still on the sofa, like he's trying to leave as small a mark on the world around him as possible. his expressions, the ones tseng catches, are minute shifts of his lips or brows, but his gaze is sharp when he meets tseng's eyes. ]

I am interested, very much so. [ there's no prevarication in the way tseng responds. he didn't do it the first time out of a desire to obtain sasuke's card; the card was more of an incidental bonus. and frankly, even if sasuke wasn't offering, he would still want to get to know the other man better—there is a reason he texted to check up on him, after all.

tseng takes another sip of his water, then idly swirls the liquid around the glass as he gazes thoughtfully over at sasuke; something about him is so compelling tseng has a hard time looking away. he'll have to dwell on that later, turn it over in his mind and figure out what it is about sasuke that captivates him this much. ]
And I understand. Ask anything you'd like to know. Now, or whenever it occurs to you.

[ he won't always be a completely open book, but at the very least he'll be honest about it when he can't answer something. ]

I'll do the same, if that's all right with you.
nonvoting: (you blew me into stardust)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-19 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ the suspicion doesn't bother tseng at all. if anything, it's reassuring. if sasuke is given to sharp-eyed assessment of the people and circumstances around him, and is committed to re-learning the things he'd been taught about this dynamic before, then in turn tseng feels that he can trust sasuke to speak to his own boundaries, his own tastes, and not just let tseng run roughshod over them. ]

I do. [ he pauses, momentarily, weighs the benefits against the potential risks, and then decides to be honest: ] I've encountered some who felt similarly. In certain... environments, that opinion seems to be common. I'm glad that your opinion has shifted now.

[ thanks in no small part, tseng is sure, to the aforementioned dominant. tseng nods in recognition. ]

We've never spoken, but I know the name. [ he did read back through the entire network in his first week here, after all... which is how he saw cyram's name floated. their circles have never overlapped in the intervening time, but the breathplay primer was interesting, even if it was all stuff tseng already knows. ] I'm happy to meet him if and when you both feel that it's appropriate, and he's welcome to supervise at any time.

[ there is... a certain amount of privilege, tseng knows, in being invited to engage with sasuke this way—a dominant playing with a submissive who already has a dominant for a romantic partner. while it is most important that sasuke feel respected and safe with tseng, he thinks that it's also important for cyram to know sasuke is in good hands. ]

It's okay. Are you giving me your safe word with the expectation that I will respond to it exclusively, or would you like me to continue honoring "stop" and "no" as safe words as well, for the time being? [ tseng nods, then makes another wry expression. ] Also, I realize how this would sound outside this specific context, but—I am both experienced in and good at causing pain, so if you'd like me to know your preferences in that...
nonvoting: (all that you want)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-20 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ nice foreshadowing, sasuke. tseng simply nods, accepting that at some point in the not-so-distant future he'll see cy's name in his inbox. it's not necessarily that he expects cy to exercise control over sasuke's day-to-day life—although he has known people for whom that is true!—but rather that he respects their relationship enough to want to make a decent impression on cy too.

it's interesting to hear sasuke describe tseng's world that way. midgar itself, tseng thinks, is not violent, not in the way people might imagine upon hearing the word—the violence of midgar is all closed doors and shadowed rooms, battles done with words and contracts and occasional assassinations. but the world... he thinks of junon, the genesis war. nibelheim. yes, the world is violent. ]


It... can be, yes. Although these days the violence is a subtler kind.

[ it's not like midgar is classified intel, but it feels strange to voluntarily offer information about himself, his world. it's a muscle that tseng has not often exercised. ]

I understand. [ well, he was also thinking about things like overstimulation, where someone might say "stop" and really mean "make me come again," but tseng thinks they'll cross that bridge if they come to it. for now, this is easy: stop, no, and tsukuyomi. the word sounds almost wutaian, although tseng doesn't immediately recognize its meaning. ] What does it mean?

[ if sasuke doesn't want to tell him, he won't push, but he is curious. ]

Mine is "juniper."
nonvoting: (just how much i miss you sometimes)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-20 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ easy. tseng nods, accepting the demurral, and doesn't push again. ]

It is. Green needles and blue berries. [ he holds his fingers up as if to indicate the size of those berries: small, about the size of a pea. ] Many uses, both medicinal and culinary. They...

[ a pause, barely noticeable unless sasuke is paying close attention, as tseng decides how much to say. ]

They were common in... the place I lived when I was a child, [ is what he settles on, almost surprised at his own words. surprised because they're true, and usually tseng can tell the truth or he can reference his childhood, but it is exceedingly rare that he does both at once. ] But not very common elsewhere in the world.

[ it is hard, to allow others close. tseng can hardly hold it against sasuke when he himself is so terribly out of practice, assuming he was ever in practice to begin with. but there are little steps they can take, he thinks—small honesties, ones that may one day become deeper truths. ]

Have you tried gin before?
nonvoting: (do you want lust?)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-20 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
I haven't checked, but I imagine you're right. I'll have to look eventually.

[ considering he saw juniper essential oil in the sauna tseng is fairly sure there have to be juniper trees around somewhere, but he hasn't gone looking for them. he hasn't had a reason to, up until now; now, he'll go just so he can tell sasuke whether he found any, next time they speak.

tseng smiles just slightly at sasuke's assessment: that's an alcohol. said very much like someone who doesn't drink often, if at all. mentally, a note not to offer him liquor. ]


It is an alcohol. It's made with juniper berries and is very much an acquired taste, but I suppose it grew on me at some point.

[ and then it became his safe word, because it is something he'd never say during sex anyway, and because the association with childhood is so strong that he knows if he reaches for it, he'll mean it. ]

If you don't mind a personal question, [ hopefully by now sasuke's realized that tseng doesn't mind if he declines to answer, ] what was it that drew you to this dynamic? I mean when you arrived here.
nonvoting: (it's a reckless abandon)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-21 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ what tseng understands of sasuke: that he scans every room he walks into. that his hands are rough from handling weapons, and that he was raised to view submission as a sign of weakness. that he thinks far more than he speaks, that he's serious and taciturn. tseng can understand the appeal of relinquishing control, for someone like that—as well as the appeal of being cared for in the aftermath.

watching sasuke blush a little as he talks about it is... cute, in a way tseng wasn't expecting. it feels like a glimpse under the outward armor, like being allowed to see the softer and more tender parts of himself that sasuke keeps so carefully guarded. tseng nods, smiling slightly. ]


Based on what you've suggested about your world, I can imagine that aftercare wasn't commonplace. [ he's glad that sasuke's outlook has changed, in this place. ] But I'm glad to hear you enjoy receiving it now, because I enjoy giving it.

[ he thinks for a moment, on the subject of pain and subspace. if that kind of play is likely to send sasuke to a mental place where he won't have the wherewithal to use his safe word, then it makes even more sense that cyram would want to supervise, at least toward the beginning. ]

Is there anything you'd like to know about me?
nonvoting: (the airlock of your heart)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-21 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ and just like that, the opportunity to be honest in turn. with anyone else, tseng might deflect the question, offer a half-answer and then send the conversation down a different but parallel track. not with sasuke, though; he promised this much and he intends to hold to it. ]

No. My world is called Gaia. [ which is apparently also something that people from earth call earth, but tseng doesn't know that yet! ] And I came here from a city called Midgar.

[ he pauses to think through how best to explain the meandering trail of circumstances that led him to this, where he is now. a full explanation also requires, perhaps, some context about tseng's career. ]

I was introduced to the concept fifteen or sixteen years ago. At the time, I was a newer recruit to the unit I now lead, and my position largely involved personal security and intelligence-gathering. We had a contact inside a club not unlike the Naked Yolk, one that catered to clientele with specific tastes. [ briefly, tseng's gaze flickers somewhere to the left of sasuke's face, recalling the club, its proprietor, the people who worked there. even before he came to this place it had been a long time since he'd seen any of them. ] At the time, I felt similarly to you—that dominance was about seizing control, not being given control. That submission was weakness and something to be punished.

[ because that was what his life had taught him, up until that point. likely it's what his life would have continued to teach him, if not for outside influence.

the next part comes after a pause. slower, more deliberate. words he's not accustomed to saying aloud. ]


I suspect the madam of the house saw something in me, because as I got older she slowly brought me into her fold. As a necessity of my position I was trained in how to capture and torture and kill, and from her and those in her employ I learned how to use those same skills to bring pleasure instead of pain. [ a nod, acknowledging. ] Or pain for the sake of pleasure, sometimes. In some ways, the fact that I know so many ways to seize control from someone who doesn't want to give it is what makes me appreciate it all the more when I'm granted the opportunity to take control not by force, but by consent.
nonvoting: (but i like you)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-23 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ while the statement doesn't necessarily seem to be couched in concern for tseng himself, it's still a kind thing for sasuke to say, and tseng nods his head in acknowledgement. ]

I appreciate that. Please rest assured I very rarely do things I don't want to do. [ and usually those things are on direct orders from his supervisors, at that, none of whom are here with him, and also none of whom would be interested in giving him orders related to his sex life. tseng doesn't smile, exactly, but there is a little warmth in his gaze as he glances at sasuke again. ] My preferences skew heavily towards "whatever will get my partner off," but in point of fact, impact play and other types of pain play are among my genuine interests as well.

[ so it won't be solely for sasuke's sake that tseng does it, if they reach that point—it will be because it turns him on, too. mutual enjoyment. ]

Formally, I am the director of the Administrative Research sector of the General Affairs department. [ which he's aware is the most incredible nothingburger of a job title ever to exist. it was designed that way, after all, so the general public wouldn't immediately be able to clock them as special ops. ] Informally, we are called the Turks. Are you asking because you're curious about my job title, or to better understand what I did in the course of my duties?
nonvoting: (i'm here but you aren't sure)

[personal profile] nonvoting 2024-04-23 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
We would call them ninja. [ tseng knows the term, and after the war in wutai he's more than passingly familiar with the profession. it's a curious overlap, although sasuke does look wutaian, with the shade of his hair and the shape of his eyes. he and tseng are alike in that way. ] What an interesting overlap.

[ and assuming that the ninja of wutai and the ninja of sasuke's world are even remotely similar, that gives tseng plenty of insight into what sasuke might have seen or done over the course of his life. at least as far as tseng is concerned, a world unaccustomed to violence and war is one where the skills of a ninja are in much lower demand.

he looks briefly down at his hands, considering the question of detail, and then looks up again. honestly, more complicated than deciding what to say is deciding how much is likely to bore sasuke with context before they even get to the interesting parts. ]


The company I work for is also the de facto government of very nearly the entire world. [ may as well start from the beginning. it is impossible to understand the turks without also understanding shinra, at least generally. plus, technically, nothing he's saying wouldn't be common knowlege to a well-informed citizen of midgar. ] The company has exclusive control over the technology that allows for the conversion of planetary energy into electricity.

Our former president, may he rest in peace, [ tseng says, with a layer of chill in his voice that suggests that shinra senior can rot for all he cares, ] was an... ambitious man who dreamed of greater things, often without regard for collateral damage. As you can imagine, this painted certain targets on the backs of both the president and the company.

[ another pause. this is where he begins to leave the territory of "things any well-informed midgar citizen would know" and begins to enter the territory of... testing the concept of being honest. ]

The Turks were conceived initially as personal security for the executives of the company. Over time, our organization has evolved into a unit of special operatives whose function does include personal security, but also intelligence and kompromat, infiltration, and a few more practical tasks—interrogation, for example.

[ and assassination. he doesn't say it, but he doesn't think he'll need to in order for sasuke to understand. ]

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