[In the moment, it had been—alarming to feel his sense of Ichigo blink out, but on the hinge of their conversation, he'd forced the concern down. He doesn't entirely know what the influences of this place are like, so... all he can is trust that the other boy will be okay.
Not to mention, they hadn't left that topic on the most reassuring note. As Sasuke heads up to the recreational facility, Beak, he schools the faintest needle of disquiet inside of himself. He is prepared to walk into a difficult conversation; it is far from the worst he has had, of late.]
( he can feel the chakra as sasuke approaches, and perhaps he shares custody of that disquiet because he too isn't quite sure how this is going to go. the other guy's offer, the implication, the way the conversation had gone a bit sideways after that... ichigo doesn't really know what they're in for.
he's doing kata whenever sasuke arrives, old karate forms that make him miss tatsuki with a sort of fierce, burning nostalgia. but he lowers his hands when he feels the quiet presence enter the gym, and turns to look at him.
he doesn't say anything at first, just walks to the wall where there's a rack of practice weapons. takes down two swords, and flips one to sasuke in an easy underhand. )
We'll talk after.
( some people communicate better in a physical medium. he knows he's one of them — and he kind of assumes sasuke is, too. )
[Ichigo isn't wrong. A right hand snatches the weapon from the air with ease, balancing its wooden weight—meager, flimsy, nothing as solid he would like but inevitable in a place so intent to make real weapons inaccessible—and readies his posture across from the other boy. He knows he is a formidable fighter, but they haven't actually squared off themselves, even in something as unserious as a practice swordfight.
Sasuke doesn't verbalize his agreement. He simply draws the blade between them, and he waits.
The Sharingan in his right eye remains dormant; the Rinnegan, unfortunately, is not an ability he can seal away for the sake of complicity to fair combat. So, though Ichigo has not discussed any rules, he closes that eye in an effort to handicap the predictive capabilities of his kekkei genkai. And then it is effortless to fall into bare essentials of kenjutsu and taijutsu together.
It is clear how Sasuke throws himself into the spar that he has been—starved, in a way, from this level of physical connection to someone else. He's trained on his own since the Netherworld, since those few days he could unleash his strength against Naruto before everything began to fall apart. And since then he's had nothing but himself, nothing but the limitations of dimensions set to turn his mind against him. His strikes are brutal against Ichigo, channeling frustration—less toward Ichigo himself than the emotional toll of the past few weeks. The past few months. He finds that Ichigo is incredibly powerful but lacks some of the polish in technique, speaking to less years of experience despite evident talent, and he leaves openings that are easy to extort. It's familiar.
By the end of it, Sasuke's shirt is drenched and he's stripped it off, tossed it aside. Ichigo is kneeling—it's clear who the established victor is, but he isn't going to do anything so showy as put a fake sword to the other boy's throat. The tension still shines in Sasuke's posture, but he does feel... more relaxed, somehow, than when he had first entered the room.]
( he never watched captain unohana fight. but learning that she was the first kenpachi, and having seen how she moved on the battlefield in other ways... he can guess how she used a sword once upon a time. a master of eight thousand styles of kenjutsu, he finds himself wishing he could've learned from her before —
well. before.
but sasuke makes him feel inadequate, for the first time in a long time. not in a way that invites shame or self-recrimination, but in a way that makes him want to get better. maybe they can make this a regular thing. or — well, it probably depends on how this conversation goes.
he doesn't bother rising, instead just shifting his posture until he's sitting cross-legged, inviting sasuke to the mat in the same approximate fashion. )
What you said... ( he begins, a bit clumsily. his eyes flicker to sasuke's face, and then he looks away. the training sword is laid across his knees, and he moves it just a little almost as a way to occupy his hands, or forestall an immediate answer. ) I didn't mean to make you — I wasn't trying to be a dick about it. One of my friends back home is... she likes women, so. It's not weird to me.
( ichigo 'one of my friends is a lesbian' kurosaki, ladies and gents. )
[Sasuke sits, laying the practice sword across his lap, unmoving, looking ahead with an expression that is... flatly expectant. Awaiting some judgment.]
"It's not weird." [Echoed words, as a small burning coal of frustration ignites itself in Sasuke, because—he doesn't know why.] Yet you see me differently.
[In any case, has he ever said aloud he prefers only men? He can't imagine that. There are certain men, and those specifically he cannot tell exactly what it is that draws him to them. They seem to all share characteristics while remaining distinctly unique and disparate.]
Does it make you uncomfortable? Are you wondering if I want to do something to you right now? [A little sharply asked.] Because that's not what is in my mind. I offered because I was concerned for your safety.
( it's a rebuff to... multiple points of sasuke's tirade. his voice is sharp, and rings with annoyance. but his gaze is firm, on the other man. not looking away. )
I don't see you differently. I'm not uncomfortable, and I don't remember liking guys ever meaning — that.
( both that you like all the guys you meet, and that you — stop caring about asking along the way. )
Say that again and I'll kick your ass for real this time.
[A scoff, though it manages to soften Sasuke's exterior from the haughty adult-like persona to more of... something young, something that closely resembles an actual teenage attitude.]
You sounded uncomfortable.
[Maybe he should goad a real fight out of Ichigo, after all.]
I don't know what it's like in your own world, but that sort of thing is not — fine, in mine. It doesn't exist. All right?
I sounded surprised. And touched. Because a friend was offering to help me, and I didn't know what I'd done to deserve that kind of loyalty.
( despite the warm words, his tone very much stays firmly in the 'you are a dumbass' territory. he extends one long leg out of his cross-legged position and kicks sasuke square in the shin. )
You don't get to read shit into my tone just because it's what you're expecting. I'm not that fickle. Haven't you figured out yet that I'm a ride or die kind of guy? You're stuck with me, asshole.
( just in case that was not abundantly clear. as much as their friendship in stygia felt like a fledgling thing, they're the only two who ended up in the casino. ichigo knows that the distant electric gleam of chakra has become its own anchor for him now, a point of safety like a candle in the dark. )
It's not really talked about for me, either. So... I get it.
[Excuse me? Sasuke looks down at the foot that has kicked him, brow furrowed, sullenness tempted to set in—until he realizes that this is almost the same dynamic he'd have with Naruto. And that nostalgia stings, more than he expects.
That declaration, too. It's almost uncanny the similarities, even if their personalities differ greatly. Ichigo more prickly; Naruto more... energetic, optimistic. Both stubborn. Both committed.]
Do you? [He watches the other boy, chin tipped down.] You don't feel that way. I wouldn't expect you to.
[Pretty sure liking men is the exception to the norm, or at least that's what he's come to assume. Cy is an outlier and must not be counted.]
( it's an honest admission. vulnerable, and it's an effort to keep his shoulders from rounding down, or his cheeks from heating. he is abruptly studying the wooden saya of the sword, thumb flecking at a piece where the polish has started to come off. he struggles more with this train of thought than of simply affirming sasuke's. maybe it's one of those things that's easier to accept in others than acknowledge in yourself. )
[Silence lapses for a moment as he considers those words, speculative, turning them over in his mind. When he speaks, it comes in a quieter tone between them—a susurrus of a confession.]
I didn't know for a long time. It happened in Stygia—do you remember those flowers? Some were afflicted with an illness triggered by emotion. They were trying to cure it.
[Only one person ever knew why Sasuke suffered, for whom.]
Mine was sunflowers. Bright yellow. [Eyes turn down to his own lap, right hand draped over the hilt of the wooden sword.] Did you meet Naruto? He was there, for a little while.
( he suddenly does feel uncomfortable, though not for the reasons sasuke might envisage. it's closer to — the discomfort someone has when they've walked in on the death rights for someone they don't know. he didn't actually need sasuke to talk about it, and now he feels like he's shoved the guy into a corner where the only option is to talk about something that's clearly still a wound, half-scarred in its newness. )
Yeah. [Sasuke lifts his head.] So that's how I knew.
[That's it. You survived the talk, Ichigo. And Sasuke survived the point-five seconds it took to express the most basic thing and then barely explain it.]
Maybe you'll feel that way or maybe you won't. It's not as big of a deal as it seems.
[And it's better, Sasuke is learning, to accept what he wants.]
( the choking on flowers bit, anyway. ichigo draws his knees up, which makes the sword drop between the hinge of hip and thigh, and he wraps his arms around his knees. on him, it simultaneously feels like the gesture of self-soothing a kid might do, and a gesture of exhaustion an old man might do. )
But I thought — sometimes, with Grimmjow. When we fought. It was... sometimes I thought about what would happen if we didn't stop there.
[And he does. That kind of physicality—it's impossible not to slip under it, to imagine the roughness of the act furthered into something else. Back then when he fought Naruto, he didn't have the presence of mind or the self-awareness or even the knowledge to wonder... now, though, he doubts he could think of anything else.]
Try it, then.
[It's said bluntly. Free yourself to sexual experimentation, Ichigo.]
ichigo just scrubs a hand aggressively through his hair and then works his palm against the back of his neck like he's trying to wring out a... kink... (haha, jk... unless?) )
No. There's no one like that. And you're the only asshole I trust.
( this is the worst conversation he's ever had and HE HAD TO LEARN SEX EDUCATION FROM ISSHIN. )
No, he wouldn't do that to Ichigo. Yet the discomfort sits in his posture, keeping his gaze off to the side. He doesn't know why it's so easy to talk about these things with Cy when it's so difficult literally everywhere else.]
You have time to figure it out.
[Tries for reassuring...]
It seems that you found someone, at least. A woman.
( his hand spasms, and unselfconsciously he rubs his thumb against the opposite wrist, where the red diamond of his suit is just beginning to bloom anew. )
I — yeah.
( he's too private for this actually. is he even allowed to talk about girls now?? the idea of even having sasuke know her name fills him with an intense mortification not because he's remotely ashamed — he isn't — but because the idea of sitting across from someone who knows he touched titties is just entirely Too Much Actually (and also, women deserve privacy!!) )
text ↪ un: 十五
uchiha.
( what even is a first-name basis. )
no subject
[he was about to go looking for you, so good timing]
no subject
( notably not... doing that? not doing that. but that's because this conversation is already awkward enough. )
do you want to go spar?
no subject
Where?
no subject
reiatsu came back. after.
no subject
[In the moment, it had been—alarming to feel his sense of Ichigo blink out, but on the hinge of their conversation, he'd forced the concern down. He doesn't entirely know what the influences of this place are like, so... all he can is trust that the other boy will be okay.
Not to mention, they hadn't left that topic on the most reassuring note. As Sasuke heads up to the recreational facility, Beak, he schools the faintest needle of disquiet inside of himself. He is prepared to walk into a difficult conversation; it is far from the worst he has had, of late.]
no subject
he's doing kata whenever sasuke arrives, old karate forms that make him miss tatsuki with a sort of fierce, burning nostalgia. but he lowers his hands when he feels the quiet presence enter the gym, and turns to look at him.
he doesn't say anything at first, just walks to the wall where there's a rack of practice weapons. takes down two swords, and flips one to sasuke in an easy underhand. )
We'll talk after.
( some people communicate better in a physical medium. he knows he's one of them — and he kind of assumes sasuke is, too. )
no subject
Sasuke doesn't verbalize his agreement. He simply draws the blade between them, and he waits.
The Sharingan in his right eye remains dormant; the Rinnegan, unfortunately, is not an ability he can seal away for the sake of complicity to fair combat. So, though Ichigo has not discussed any rules, he closes that eye in an effort to handicap the predictive capabilities of his kekkei genkai. And then it is effortless to fall into bare essentials of kenjutsu and taijutsu together.
It is clear how Sasuke throws himself into the spar that he has been—starved, in a way, from this level of physical connection to someone else. He's trained on his own since the Netherworld, since those few days he could unleash his strength against Naruto before everything began to fall apart. And since then he's had nothing but himself, nothing but the limitations of dimensions set to turn his mind against him. His strikes are brutal against Ichigo, channeling frustration—less toward Ichigo himself than the emotional toll of the past few weeks. The past few months. He finds that Ichigo is incredibly powerful but lacks some of the polish in technique, speaking to less years of experience despite evident talent, and he leaves openings that are easy to extort. It's familiar.
By the end of it, Sasuke's shirt is drenched and he's stripped it off, tossed it aside. Ichigo is kneeling—it's clear who the established victor is, but he isn't going to do anything so showy as put a fake sword to the other boy's throat. The tension still shines in Sasuke's posture, but he does feel... more relaxed, somehow, than when he had first entered the room.]
So talk.
no subject
well. before.
but sasuke makes him feel inadequate, for the first time in a long time. not in a way that invites shame or self-recrimination, but in a way that makes him want to get better. maybe they can make this a regular thing. or — well, it probably depends on how this conversation goes.
he doesn't bother rising, instead just shifting his posture until he's sitting cross-legged, inviting sasuke to the mat in the same approximate fashion. )
What you said... ( he begins, a bit clumsily. his eyes flicker to sasuke's face, and then he looks away. the training sword is laid across his knees, and he moves it just a little almost as a way to occupy his hands, or forestall an immediate answer. ) I didn't mean to make you — I wasn't trying to be a dick about it. One of my friends back home is... she likes women, so. It's not weird to me.
( ichigo 'one of my friends is a lesbian' kurosaki, ladies and gents. )
no subject
"It's not weird." [Echoed words, as a small burning coal of frustration ignites itself in Sasuke, because—he doesn't know why.] Yet you see me differently.
[In any case, has he ever said aloud he prefers only men? He can't imagine that. There are certain men, and those specifically he cannot tell exactly what it is that draws him to them. They seem to all share characteristics while remaining distinctly unique and disparate.]
Does it make you uncomfortable? Are you wondering if I want to do something to you right now? [A little sharply asked.] Because that's not what is in my mind. I offered because I was concerned for your safety.
[He doesn't want his motive to be misunderstood.]
cw: vague mention of consent
( it's a rebuff to... multiple points of sasuke's tirade. his voice is sharp, and rings with annoyance. but his gaze is firm, on the other man. not looking away. )
I don't see you differently. I'm not uncomfortable, and I don't remember liking guys ever meaning — that.
( both that you like all the guys you meet, and that you — stop caring about asking along the way. )
Say that again and I'll kick your ass for real this time.
no subject
You sounded uncomfortable.
[Maybe he should goad a real fight out of Ichigo, after all.]
I don't know what it's like in your own world, but that sort of thing is not — fine, in mine. It doesn't exist. All right?
no subject
( despite the warm words, his tone very much stays firmly in the 'you are a dumbass' territory. he extends one long leg out of his cross-legged position and kicks sasuke square in the shin. )
You don't get to read shit into my tone just because it's what you're expecting. I'm not that fickle. Haven't you figured out yet that I'm a ride or die kind of guy? You're stuck with me, asshole.
( just in case that was not abundantly clear. as much as their friendship in stygia felt like a fledgling thing, they're the only two who ended up in the casino. ichigo knows that the distant electric gleam of chakra has become its own anchor for him now, a point of safety like a candle in the dark. )
It's not really talked about for me, either. So... I get it.
no subject
That declaration, too. It's almost uncanny the similarities, even if their personalities differ greatly. Ichigo more prickly; Naruto more... energetic, optimistic. Both stubborn. Both committed.]
Do you? [He watches the other boy, chin tipped down.] You don't feel that way. I wouldn't expect you to.
[Pretty sure liking men is the exception to the norm, or at least that's what he's come to assume. Cy is an outlier and must not be counted.]
no subject
( it's an honest admission. vulnerable, and it's an effort to keep his shoulders from rounding down, or his cheeks from heating. he is abruptly studying the wooden saya of the sword, thumb flecking at a piece where the polish has started to come off. he struggles more with this train of thought than of simply affirming sasuke's. maybe it's one of those things that's easier to accept in others than acknowledge in yourself. )
I haven't thought about it much.
( 'thanks it's the trauma'. )
no subject
I didn't know for a long time. It happened in Stygia—do you remember those flowers? Some were afflicted with an illness triggered by emotion. They were trying to cure it.
[Only one person ever knew why Sasuke suffered, for whom.]
Mine was sunflowers. Bright yellow. [Eyes turn down to his own lap, right hand draped over the hilt of the wooden sword.] Did you meet Naruto? He was there, for a little while.
no subject
( he suddenly does feel uncomfortable, though not for the reasons sasuke might envisage. it's closer to — the discomfort someone has when they've walked in on the death rights for someone they don't know. he didn't actually need sasuke to talk about it, and now he feels like he's shoved the guy into a corner where the only option is to talk about something that's clearly still a wound, half-scarred in its newness. )
We talked once. So, he...?
no subject
[That's it. You survived the talk, Ichigo. And Sasuke survived the point-five seconds it took to express the most basic thing and then barely explain it.]
Maybe you'll feel that way or maybe you won't. It's not as big of a deal as it seems.
[And it's better, Sasuke is learning, to accept what he wants.]
no subject
I don't know that I was — like that.
( the choking on flowers bit, anyway. ichigo draws his knees up, which makes the sword drop between the hinge of hip and thigh, and he wraps his arms around his knees. on him, it simultaneously feels like the gesture of self-soothing a kid might do, and a gesture of exhaustion an old man might do. )
But I thought — sometimes, with Grimmjow. When we fought. It was... sometimes I thought about what would happen if we didn't stop there.
no subject
[And he does. That kind of physicality—it's impossible not to slip under it, to imagine the roughness of the act furthered into something else. Back then when he fought Naruto, he didn't have the presence of mind or the self-awareness or even the knowledge to wonder... now, though, he doubts he could think of anything else.]
Try it, then.
[It's said bluntly. Free yourself to sexual experimentation, Ichigo.]
no subject
( uhhhHHHHHH?
look my guy he just barely got the hang of tits actually???
(spoiler: he does not have the hang of tits) )
no subject
No. Not now.
[HE IS NOT PROPOSITIONING YOU.]
Whenever you want. Is there a male person here that you're interested in? It doesn't have to be... like that. [Yet.] Someone you trust.
no subject
ichigo just scrubs a hand aggressively through his hair and then works his palm against the back of his neck like he's trying to wring out a... kink... (haha, jk... unless?) )
No. There's no one like that. And you're the only asshole I trust.
( this is the worst conversation he's ever had and HE HAD TO LEARN SEX EDUCATION FROM ISSHIN. )
no subject
No, he wouldn't do that to Ichigo. Yet the discomfort sits in his posture, keeping his gaze off to the side. He doesn't know why it's so easy to talk about these things with Cy when it's so difficult literally everywhere else.]
You have time to figure it out.
[Tries for reassuring...]
It seems that you found someone, at least. A woman.
no subject
I — yeah.
( he's too private for this actually. is he even allowed to talk about girls now?? the idea of even having sasuke know her name fills him with an intense mortification not because he's remotely ashamed — he isn't — but because the idea of sitting across from someone who knows he touched titties is just entirely Too Much Actually (and also, women deserve privacy!!) )
What about you? You find a dude that's all right?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)