chokuto

[A fellow overachiever...]

It's not new to you, is it? BDSM.

You seemed experienced.

It's not. I engaged in it... not often, but often enough back home.

Was it new to you, when you arrived?

It was. Initially, I didn't think I would enjoy it.

[I was extremely wrong.]

We should have a conversation. Last time wasn't... under the best circumstances. Not that — I don't regret it, but there wasn't much room to discuss. I don't mind speaking this way, but if you want meet in person, I wouldn't be against that either.

I'm glad you don't regret it, but I agree that we could benefit from a more clear-headed discussion. You're welcome to come to my suite if you like, or we can meet elsewhere if you'd prefer a neutral venue.

Edited (cannot abide two "more"s back to back sry) 2024-04-16 17:03 (UTC)

I'll come to your suite.

Which rank are you?

Jack of diamonds.

[ w a lil map to tseng's apartment attached for sasuke's reference. ]

[Oh. It's the first very high-ranking individual that he has spoken to at any length, let alone visited — so this is a novelty.]

I can be there in an hour.

... You may need to tell the staff on your floor that you're expecting me. Otherwise, it's possible they won't let me off the elevator. ... I'm a two.

[ time to see how the 1% lives ]

I'll make sure no one bothers you. Just knock when you arrive.

[With that, Sasuke allows the conversation to lapse, finishing the task that had preoccupied him prior to Tseng's first message — a section of a math workbook. Yes, he is teaching himself math in a resort built on hedonism and endless entertainment.

Then all he has to do is follow the directions to Tseng's Jack suite. It is the highest floor he has ever visited, and he is aware of the looks he receives from staff when he boards the elevator. For the most part, it seems they prefer to pretend he does not exist, which suits him fine — but now, stepping into the limelight of a celebrity, even by association, earns hard stares and disapproving looks. Not that he cares. Their shallow and impersonal disdain is little compared to what he's faced in the past.

Sasuke arrives at the door, dressed simply, and knocks.]

[ as true to his word as he can be, tseng had informed the staff of the junior penthouses that they weren't to say a word to sasuke—that he had been invited, and that tseng would not tolerate outward disrespect. he can't do anything about the way they look at him, of course, but at the very least he hopes that some combination of his rank and his naturally commanding manner will be enough to see his demands carried out.

in the intervening time between their conversation and sasuke's arrival, tseng occupies himself with note-taking. his dossier of the resort and its residents is nowhere near complete, but it's developing steadily, comprised currently of a combination of notes on monthly happenings in the resort and a section of biographical information on the people tseng has encountered.

when he hears the knock, he closes the folder and puts it away on its bookshelf, then makes his way to the door to pull it open. tseng is also dressed casually, or at least as casually as he can manage, only slightly dressed down from the slacks and button-down sasuke would have seen him in last. ]

Come in. No one gave you trouble, I hope?

[For all the straightforward confidence he seems to carry, there is a moment of hesitation before he steps in through the threshold of the suite, as if he has passed into a place unknown to him and worthy of survey before trespass. It isn't wholly a lack of trust; he has no reason to think Tseng personally would do anything, and the resort itself has proven safe outside sexual influence, nevermind his own ability to protect himself.

Yet some habits are simply too distilled to break.

Reflexively Sasuke sheds his shoes at the door, and then — looks, actually absorbing his surroundings.]

It's okay. They left me alone. [No doubt due to Tseng's involvement. He glances now through dark lashes, taking in the man's appearance without the cloudy arousal of the game.] I suppose I should have expected it would look nice on the inside, but... [Perhaps he's too used to living in a closet.] What is it like, as a Jack?

[ it doesn't strike tseng as a strange thing to do, really—it's a wise move to take a thorough look at one's surroundings, especially when entering an unfamiliar space. sasuke will find that the suite is fairly lavish, well-appointed, and largely devoid of personality. there's an orchid plant in the living room, and there are signs of regular use in the kitchen, but otherwise it's clear that tseng isn't the type to go all-in on interior decorating.

it's also nice that tseng doesn't have to tell sasuke to take his shoes off in the doorway. while it's a habit of tseng's as well, and a gesture he appreciates, he doesn't like enforcing it on others. ]

It's... [ he pauses, delicately, and lets the door swing closed behind them so the staff can't hear. ] I can't complain about the creature comforts, but largely it's irritating for me. The suite is absurd, and I don't appreciate having attention paid to my comings and goings.

[ in comparison to a two, he couldn't say. but it is definitely not tseng's preferred lifestyle. ]

Would you like anything? Food, drink?

[A clean, elegant, lavishly decorated suite in a way that feels somehow barren. He recalls that Tseng had said he's only been here a month, so perhaps that can be attributed to time. Yet Sasuke also can't pretend he would ever know what to do with this much space himself. And there is that quality in the man — a familiar composure, coolness of intellect and demeanor — that he doesn't disregard.]

Then I can't say that I envy you. Despite the treatment of the lower ranks, the anonymity is useful. [Far more than celebrity would be.] It still seems there's no reason or logic behind these assignments of rank.

[Sasuke heads into the living room, eyes lingering with intrigue on the delicate orchid. Something tender and alive — was it deliberately put here by Tseng?]

Just water is fine. I didn't mean for you to host me so... formally. [Look, he's bad at this.] But I appreciate that you reached out.

Anonymity would be much preferred. [ tseng's smile is wry. he's no ninja, but he is much more used to moving in shadow than being in the limelight. ] But I'll find a way to make use of the notoriety, if I must.

[ he waves a hand at the protest, because this isn't really formal hosting in his mind, just the politeness of offering when someone comes over. he's not exactly known as a host, but he's been in enough rich folks' company to know the steps. into the kitchen they go, so tseng can retrieve water for both of them. ]

I didn't want to overstep, but it felt important to make sure you were all right. It was a... hectic week, to say the least.

[He says nothing to the former remark, but there is a part of him that understands it. Power is a weapon just as anonymity is. And it would be impossible to deny the power and influence in the hands of those royal ranks.

Following Tseng into the kitchen, he lingers close to the doorway, looking over polished appliances and sparkling marble countertops. The excess of luxury is vividly present; he does not quite know what to do with himself in this environment except to stand stiffly and observe it.]

For everyone, yes. [It isn't a dismissal of concern, but... He's prickly by nature.] I won't waste what time you've allowed by inviting me here. I wanted to discuss your perspective on the roles of domination and submission. I told you that I was new to it, and that was true. Before arriving here, I understood that dynamic differently due to the context of my own dimension, and it was harmful to my first impression in this place.

[To be blunt:] You're the second person I've ever engaged with in that way. It's not something I do with just anyone. [So — this means something to him.]

Edited (typo begone) 2024-04-16 23:12 (UTC)

[ prickly though he may be, sasuke is certainly not the most disagreeable person tseng has ever interacted with. he hands over a glass of water, then gestures for sasuke to come join him in one of the seats in the living room—this is not the sort of conversation he would have standing aimlessly in the kitchen.

to know that tseng was only sasuke's second ever partner in such a context is moderately surprising and certainly not insignificant. tseng inclines his head slightly in acknowledgement. ] I appreciate your candor. It's not something I take lightly.

[ either the honesty, or sasuke's submission in its entirety. tseng lifts his glance from his glass up to sasuke's face, studying him more keenly now in the clearer light of day. it's not yet clear to him what, if anything, sasuke would like to come of this, but trust is foundational to any relationship and he sees no reason not to be honest, especially when sasuke has already trusted tseng with so much of himself.

he sits back, his posture intentionally left open. ]

Do you have specific questions, or would you like me to speak to my perspective in general?

[He takes the glass, following Tseng out to the living room where he chooses a spot on the other couch, upright and rigid, attention focused on the other man.

For now —]

Your perspective.

[He has other thoughts, and there's a part of him interested in understanding the man he didn't have time to get to know during the events of the game, but this is the first step. And it will influence everything else.]

I'll tell you if I have questions, but for now I only want to know what your interpretation of that dynamic is, between someone who is dominant and someone who is submissive.

Very well.

[ this is... not something tseng has ever been asked to do before, to speak to his perspective on a d/s relationship. in fact, he hasn't ever even articulated those thoughts to himself, let alone to another person. it feels important that he not fumble, so he's quiet for a long moment to collect and organize his thoughts before he speaks. ]

To begin—I believe that there are nuances to every relationship, and no two will be identical. I also recognize that not all so-called dominants have sufficient respect for their submissives, but such behavior is anathema to me, so I will speak only to what I consider a "good" relationship between a dominant and a submissive.

[ just to clarify. he knows there are some fucks out there who get off on real fear, on being powerful without consideration for the party giving them that power; tseng is not one of them, and he would not do them the honor of including them in his perspective. ]

It is easy to look at a dominant-submissive relationship and think that the dominant party has all the power while the submissive party is powerless entirely. I don't believe this should be true. [ he looks at his glass and rolls it idly between his palms, thinking. ] Of course, there may be an imbalance in physical control during a scene—when one party is restrained, for example, or gagged and unable to speak. But when the relationship has its foundation in mutual trust and respect, and both parties have an understanding of the other's boundaries, then there is an awareness that the dominant has control only because the submissive has afforded it to them, and similarly an awareness that the submissive may revoke that control at any time. I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you.

[ tseng glances up again, a slight wry smile tugging at his lips. ]

It was for this same reason that I told you that I would stop if you said "stop," even if that isn't your safe word. Until we've built that foundation, and until I understand your boundaries and limitations more clearly, I don't feel that I've earned the right to ignore your protestations.

Is this the sort of perspective you're looking for?

[The answer is — meticulous, thorough, and well prefaced. There is something to Tseng's nature that compels him, that is familiar, that convinces him their encounter at the Naked Yolk was not entirely circumstantial. Bereft of that animal impulse now, it's difficult to speak to what he had felt then beyond the all-consuming desire to hunt prey — but Tseng had turned it around on him. Not just anyone could accomplish that. There's no denying this man's demeanor has an effect on him, whether or not he can identify why.

Maybe it doesn't matter.

Sasuke's gaze slips down to his lap, and he drinks from the rim of the glass with a sudden thirst. Then he bends and sets it neatly on the lacquered surface of the coffee table.]

It's not that I'm seeking a specific answer. I wanted to try to understand your mindset better. But I can admit that there's a certain perspective that would make me find you more trustworthy. [And Tseng has said it. The mutual respect is necessary: I was allowed to make you submit to me because you decided to allow me to dominate you. He inhales, then releases the breath in a huff.] I haven't even asked if you would be interested in a scenario like that again. Perhaps simply obtaining my card was enough for you.

[This wouldn't offend him. Isn't it what the resort wants of its guests?]

... But the offer is there. And if you take it, there are a few other things I want to discuss. [Now he looks across at the other man, studying that careful demeanor, put-together, nothing out of place.] In addition to the practicalities, I'd want to get to know you. It's not possible for me to easily have sex with people and feel nothing. So you need to be aware of that beforehand.

[Hello, I have emotional issues, you've been warned???]

[ like this, in the comparatively colder light of day, it's a little more difficult for tseng to read sasuke's body language. he carries himself carefully, sits mostly still on the sofa, like he's trying to leave as small a mark on the world around him as possible. his expressions, the ones tseng catches, are minute shifts of his lips or brows, but his gaze is sharp when he meets tseng's eyes. ]

I am interested, very much so. [ there's no prevarication in the way tseng responds. he didn't do it the first time out of a desire to obtain sasuke's card; the card was more of an incidental bonus. and frankly, even if sasuke wasn't offering, he would still want to get to know the other man better—there is a reason he texted to check up on him, after all.

tseng takes another sip of his water, then idly swirls the liquid around the glass as he gazes thoughtfully over at sasuke; something about him is so compelling tseng has a hard time looking away. he'll have to dwell on that later, turn it over in his mind and figure out what it is about sasuke that captivates him this much. ] And I understand. Ask anything you'd like to know. Now, or whenever it occurs to you.

[ he won't always be a completely open book, but at the very least he'll be honest about it when he can't answer something. ]

I'll do the same, if that's all right with you.

[Sometimes, it still is surprising to hear an expression of interest that goes beyond the mercenary necessity of the resort's game. His gaze cuts over to Tseng again — gauging the man's coolly handsome features, the tonal quality of his words. Yet nothing so far has triggered any distrust. It's simply in his nature to be suspicious.

Sasuke lets out another breath, shoulders losing a slight rigidity.]

It is. My opinion of the dynamic before was... damaging. I thought that being submissive was a sign of weakness, and that it also needed to be taken by force from a more powerful oppnent. So perhaps you can understand why I had to ask first.

[The value of communication is new to him, but not taken for granted.]

You should know that I like pain. It isn't the only thing I enjoy when in a submissive position, but it's significant. And... I mentioned before that I have someone here who I consider to be my dominant. His name is Cyram — I don't know if you've met him. We're together. He taught me all of this.

[Sasuke would not be here in front of Tseng, able to discuss this openly with a potential new partner, without that instruction. That painstaking education.]

If... giving pain is something you're also interested in, then you would need to speak with him first. And he might decide to supervise. Otherwise, I know enough to tell you what I like and don't like. I'll also give you my safe word. Is that okay?

[ the suspicion doesn't bother tseng at all. if anything, it's reassuring. if sasuke is given to sharp-eyed assessment of the people and circumstances around him, and is committed to re-learning the things he'd been taught about this dynamic before, then in turn tseng feels that he can trust sasuke to speak to his own boundaries, his own tastes, and not just let tseng run roughshod over them. ]

I do. [ he pauses, momentarily, weighs the benefits against the potential risks, and then decides to be honest: ] I've encountered some who felt similarly. In certain... environments, that opinion seems to be common. I'm glad that your opinion has shifted now.

[ thanks in no small part, tseng is sure, to the aforementioned dominant. tseng nods in recognition. ]

We've never spoken, but I know the name. [ he did read back through the entire network in his first week here, after all... which is how he saw cyram's name floated. their circles have never overlapped in the intervening time, but the breathplay primer was interesting, even if it was all stuff tseng already knows. ] I'm happy to meet him if and when you both feel that it's appropriate, and he's welcome to supervise at any time.

[ there is... a certain amount of privilege, tseng knows, in being invited to engage with sasuke this way—a dominant playing with a submissive who already has a dominant for a romantic partner. while it is most important that sasuke feel respected and safe with tseng, he thinks that it's also important for cyram to know sasuke is in good hands. ]

It's okay. Are you giving me your safe word with the expectation that I will respond to it exclusively, or would you like me to continue honoring "stop" and "no" as safe words as well, for the time being? [ tseng nods, then makes another wry expression. ] Also, I realize how this would sound outside this specific context, but—I am both experienced in and good at causing pain, so if you'd like me to know your preferences in that...

[Certain environments. Tseng chooses his words carefully, and he understands — he is product of such an environment. Would the man say the same of his own world? It makes him curious to know, then, how Tseng has come to learn these preferences, how he's fostered this knowledge.

Sasuke gives a small nod.] I'll let him know. Most likely, he'll approach you himself first.

[Any control Cy exercises over him is simply the dressing of a scene in the context of their dynamic — so he won't speak for Cy otherwise. He does think that while the two men appear very different by outer demeanor alone, they already have more in common merely by their perspective on a dominant/submissive relationship alone. Sasuke's interested to know how that conversation would go.

Then, for the rest of what Tseng says —]

I wouldn't count that experience against you, even outside this context. Your world must be a violent one. [It does raise his own curiosity even higher.] For now, you can take "stop" and "no" at face value. Those sorts of scenes where those words arise naturally... [Ahem.] I enjoy them too, but I don't think I could manage it right now. And I'll use "Tsukuyomi" as my safe word as well. [Mismatched eyes turn onto Tseng, surveying him.] Do you have one? A safe word.

[The effort of trust must be mutual, after all.]

[ nice foreshadowing, sasuke. tseng simply nods, accepting that at some point in the not-so-distant future he'll see cy's name in his inbox. it's not necessarily that he expects cy to exercise control over sasuke's day-to-day life—although he has known people for whom that is true!—but rather that he respects their relationship enough to want to make a decent impression on cy too.

it's interesting to hear sasuke describe tseng's world that way. midgar itself, tseng thinks, is not violent, not in the way people might imagine upon hearing the word—the violence of midgar is all closed doors and shadowed rooms, battles done with words and contracts and occasional assassinations. but the world... he thinks of junon, the genesis war. nibelheim. yes, the world is violent. ]

It... can be, yes. Although these days the violence is a subtler kind.

[ it's not like midgar is classified intel, but it feels strange to voluntarily offer information about himself, his world. it's a muscle that tseng has not often exercised. ]

I understand. [ well, he was also thinking about things like overstimulation, where someone might say "stop" and really mean "make me come again," but tseng thinks they'll cross that bridge if they come to it. for now, this is easy: stop, no, and tsukuyomi. the word sounds almost wutaian, although tseng doesn't immediately recognize its meaning. ] What does it mean?

[ if sasuke doesn't want to tell him, he won't push, but he is curious. ]

Mine is "juniper."

[It doesn't tell him much, but that's fine, and likewise Sasuke won't press. They have time to learn these things about each other; perhaps there will be plenty Tseng decides not to share, and vice versa. He can't have expectations. Not yet. It's already — tenuous enough, this negotiation, because he isn't practiced at being close to other people.

It was hard enough to decide to come here and speak to Tseng with that voice in his head, denigrating his efforts at connection, assuring him that he would mess it up. But Tseng deserves the communication.

Also, loaded question. Sasuke pauses, as if caught, and his expression is momentarily solemn.]

... I'll tell you one day. Later.

[He fetches the glass of water from the table — finishes it off, neatly, in two wet swallows.]

Juniper. That's a plant. Isn't it?

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