chokuto

[He's accommodating, slowly, to the way Cy handles him, but it doesn't prevent the hitch of breath when he's pulled across the man's waist and it will never prevent the flare of arousal inspired.]

Let's do them now. [Is he saying this because he doesn't want to relinquish Cy yet? Yes.] How does it work? Negotiating something like this.

We talk about expectations, outcomes, limits. If we're adding roleplay to a scene, for instance, it could be where we'd do a review of what that might look like. Like... teacher/student role-playing is something that slots pretty naturally into a spanking scene.

( his hands settle against sasuke's thighs, in that place that's become so familiar to him now. )

We'd also talk about how many spanks, the amount of control you want over potentially adding more — like I could have you count them out, and if you decide you want more we'd agree beforehand that messing up the count adds another five or something, but I wouldn't introduce that element for a first time because it requires some knowledge of your body and reactions.

Hm. Since it is the first time, we should keep it simple.

[Teacher and student — of course, his mind naturally slips to how he'd called Cy sensei. Yet also with that is the memory of how he'd balked in the face of talking to Cy confidently in the moment. The fear of failure is preeminent; knowing himself, he'd rather minimize the potential to create those issues if they're trying out something so new.

His right hand falls, smoothing the fabric of Cy's shirt over his chest.]

I don't know what my limits would be. Something like that doesn't seem like it would be very painful, but we can set a lower number, and then increase based on my reaction. And... we can be ourselves. I'd feel more comfortable that way.

Oh, yeah. Sorry — I wouldn't do role-playing for a first scene like this either, I meant more as an example of what negotiations might involve.

( he captures sasuke's hand, his own pressing down atop it. )

Twenty's a good number to start, and you can safeword that down. I won't use a lot of force, either. Let's not think about an increase this time, I'd want you to know how you feel the day after first. You can decide if you want to be naked or wearing something — clothing will take the sting out of it a bit.

I see. [It helps to hear Cy’s explanation — to know what to expect ahead of time, even if this isn’t a situation where he feels that he will need to overly prepare.] Then, twenty.

[That captured hand turns over, braiding fingers together, toying with the interlaced hold thoughtfully.]

I don’t want to wear clothes. Is that all right?

[A bit of a hasty request, though it carries certainty.]

… I want to be able to feel your hand.

（ giving this kid the keys to his libido wasn't his worst idea, but goodly fucking christ the way that one simple, blunt statement sweeps through him leaving nothing but a razed fire of lust in its wake is intense. every nerve alight, and when he doesn't speak right away it's because he actually can't. ）

Ah. （ a breath gusts out of him, deliberately steady. ）

Yeah, that's — all right.

（ he disentangles their palms briefly — regretfully — to say: ）

Hold your palm up like this. I'll slap it with the force I'll use just so you're prepared. I'm assuming your tolerance is higher, but I'd rather start slow anyhow — we've got plenty of time to figure things out.

[As he's seen, Cy isn't so easily affected — even now the space of a reaction is subtle, mastered by the control of millennia, steadied in the span of a breath. Yet he's watching for it, mismatched eyes dark with the sort of focus of attention he pays to this man.

Another reassurance of time. Sasuke won't bring it into the conversation now, but that worry is still alive in him, that his time with Cy will be denied. Cut short too soon.

He expects that his tolerance is higher, too, and especially in the hand that he lifts to oblige the request. They have not been treated preciously. They're rough, battle-worn, broken and healed too many times to count, palm scorched by fire and lightning and countless weapons.]

Go ahead.

[Whatever he can handle, they aren't going slow only for his own sake. Cy needs that too.]

（ there is no immediate violence. instead, there is an almost worshipful touch that starts at the elbow and chases gentleness to the wrist. his hands reach for both sides of sasuke's, and his thumbs kiss the space across his palm, skirting the lines of fibrous muscle there, and then down each finger where the knots of impact, breaks and damage are like braille beneath his touch. the story it tells is neither pleasant nor esoteric to him — and his expression is still water as it swallows light in old sorrows.

once he's worked back to the elbow, he disengages the intensity of the touch, walks his fingertips up the vein and then looks up to catch sasuke's eye in warning, waiting for an acknowledging response before he actually hits him, the slap of his hand loud in the hush of the air.

it's not a wholly light impact — but it's not one that'll bruise, either. yet, from that point of contact, the warmth of a pleasant sting will reverb outwards like the ripple of a stone in a pond. ）

[The gentleness is an unexpected prelude, priming him to relax, to uncoil muscles braced for a strike — a cool caress before the viper sting. He meets Cy's eyes, understands the necessity of that touch shared between both of them, and he doesn't flinch at the inevitable swing that follows.

The slap of fresh rings out; Sasuke's eyelashes flicker. He doesn't pull away like the impulse of a child's hand on a hot stove — he has better discipline, instead only curling fingers in the immediate heat of the aftermath, feeling the sting left by impact. He watches the pale color of his skin slowly bloom pink.]

It doesn't hurt. [Twenty, though, might be something to contend with.] It should be fine.

[The sensation is fading to a tingle, and it makes him... anticipatory as he looks to tomorrow. His mouth is a little dry, neck a little hot, from the practiced expertise Cy demonstrates.]

Is there anything else we need to discuss?

Nah, not about that.

（ but he does lace their fingers together again, and drag sasuke's hand forward to kiss the back of it. ）

Is that your subtle way of shooing me back to the internet?

（ honestly, he'd be willing to bet cash money that sasuke has developed a vested interest in people being properly educated about bdsm — it'd sure explain why he left his comments visible and public to all. ）

Is that how it looks? Maybe it's just that the sooner I make you leave, the sooner I'll see you tomorrow.

[That isn't how time works, but... flirting. Or something.]

I imagine it will help someone, though, the way you educate. It helped me.

[Cy said he was a knowledge resource, after all, and he can see why.]

( clumsy as it is, it's a cute attempt and it makes him smile, crooked. one corner of his mouth turned up. )

Tomorrow'll be here soon enough, I promise.

( the way sasuke so nakedly admits he helped him winds him briefly, and he has no immediate reply for the kindness. instead: )

Speaking of help. Have you had any luck getting yourself off?

[He shifts in his seat maintained across Cy's hips, not relinquishing his hand but allowing fingers to flex within the hold.]

I've only tried once since then, but... no. [A shoulder rolls, unconcerned.] I don't think it's a big deal.

[That sort of activity isn't one he maintained before, so why would he do it now if he doesn't have to? It might be peripherally pleasant, but — the effort to get there isn't worth it, and he enjoys himself when he's with Cy, which is more important to him.]

（ he makes a soft, contemplative little sound, worrying his fingers against sasuke's very gently, the grasp loose and easy. ）

It's not a big deal, no. For some people, they never really get anything out of masturbation and that's totally normal and fine. But — given your history, and all the bullshit going on in your world, let's not give up on that just yet, okay? If it really isn't for you, I'm not going to force the issue — but it might be one of those things that needs some time to really settle, and if it's possible for you I'd like to see you get to a place where you're comfortable with that part of yourself on your own.

（ he pushes himself up on one elbow, and uses his grip on sasuke's hand to draw him down for a kiss. ）

Doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or a month from now. But revisit it at some point, okay? When you're ready.

[It shouldn't, given such an innocuous subject matter as this, but — Sasuke feels the weight of some unnamable emotion as it settles in his chest and pulls his throat closed. He manages a nod, pliant to the kiss.]

... Okay.

[The quiet agreement is all he can voice, allowing his body to drape further forward, down and against Cy's chest where he can settle himself fully. He doesn't know what else to say, so instead the breath sweeps out of him in one exhalation, limbs lax, a shivering collapse put into Cy's arms to be held together.

It reminds him of how he felt when he imagined looking at himself in the mirror.]

Does the time tomorrow matter to you? [With Cy, he can't be sure.] Should I do anything else to prepare?

（ he lifts his arm, circling sasuke within an embrace, letting his fingers catch on the fabric of his shirt like an anchor. ）

Nah, time doesn't matter, and there's not much else to do besides get some good rest and make sure you're hydrated.

（ but he can envision sasuke spending a sleepless night alone, the weight of anticipation a leaden weight in his gut. which is why, after a moment — ）

But hey, it cuts down on the travel time if you just spend the night.

[Stop feeding into his malewife desire to live in Cy's room full-time.]

Are you sure?

[It doesn't seem that he'll ever stop asking this, or be comfortable encroaching on Cy's personal time and space — though their recent conversation has helped steady some uncertainties. He presses his cheek to one of Cy's broad shoulders.]

Edited 2024-02-09 04:18 (UTC)

（ look he told sasuke his sad little fantasy of just being a happily married man like the third time they met, how is anyone surprised!! ）

Sasuke.

（ pay attention. ）

I want you to stay the night with me.

[He shouldn't be surprised, knowing Cy and all they've done together up to this point — but it will be a new day, and him a new person, when he stops reacting to these little things. The intimacies, the invitations, the sweetness. Cy's desire to be around him, and understand him, and touch him.

There's a bobbing nod after a moment, felt more than anything against the slope of Cy's throat where he's pressed his face.]

All right. I will, then. [A fluttery breath.] Let's go.

[Teleport them, not-boyfriend he is definitely not-dating.]

（ his breath is a gust, half-laughter as he reaches up to stroke the boy's hair. it would be a little terrifying, he thinks, if he'd found sasuke when he was younger — a raw wound of a man, still barely half-formed by his own trauma. his easy devotion would've been so fucking overwhelming, and cy is honestly, genuinely afraid of how that might have gone when he was less practiced, less sure of himself. clumsy in ways that were more often hurtful to the people he had grown to love. ）

Okay, please believe me when I say your eagerness is very appreciated, but also my room's a fucking disaster again and I don't want you to feel like you need to clean it because you absolutely deserve better than being my maid.

（ his hand is steady, tangling in the fine strands and then trailing down his nape, his spine. ）

Give me a couple hours, okay? I'll tidy up, and there's a couple things I want to grab for the aftercare session for you. In the meantime — you can do me a favour by having a nice hot shower to get all relaxed and finding us a nice dinner to share, yeah? And pack an overnight bag with whatever you think you'll need for a couple days in my room.

[He's halfway to argument, I don't mind cleaning — but Cy soothes all protest out of him with the path of that hand, words intimating more forethought than he was prepared to demonstrate in his own hastiness. The promise of a few days in Cy's room is enough to buoy him through impatience. With no small amount of reluctance, he levers himself to sit upright.]

A few hours. I'll shower and bring over something to eat. I found a kitchen to use, but I won't do that myself tonight. [He wouldn't want to impress upon Sizhui's generosity on such short notice.] Next time. [Solemnly as a vow.]

Then, I'll see you later.

（ he pushes himself up, chasing sasuke to press a kiss against the pout of his mouth — and then he places his hand against the small of sasuke's back and flips them so the boy's beneath him on the bed.

it's no more suggestive than that — his knee between sasuke's thighs, their hands still tightly laced, and then he winks broadly, playfully, and transmats away.

he does spend his time cleaning, as promised — finding a good cream with an arnica/cbd base combo, and finishing up loose ends on the network.

tomorrow will come soon enough. ）

[It's suggestive enough to follow Sasuke through the next few hours — until he arrives at Cy's door, freshly changed and showered, carrying a small overnight bag on the left shoulder and a box of (healthy, vegetarian) takeout in his right hand. The time passes uneventfully, apart from the depth of their conversation over the meal and appreciating Cy's room enough to immediately make a mess of the bed in a tangle of blankets and limbs. It always feels better to sleep like that in Cy's arms — the more frightening awareness that he has begun to crave it on a regular basis aside.

The next morning is slow, easy, unhurried. They enjoy a simple breakfast from the Early Bird Hall once more, visit the gym, shower together in a warm and comforting act of intimacy like no other he's experienced, and finally return to Cy's room. Sasuke — dressed again in a hoodie thieved from somewhere in Cy's pile of clothes, a pair of loose sweatpants, barefooted — sits on the bed, expectant face turned up to Cy.]

Now?

（ the act hangs between them, and he can tell sasuke's awareness of it and eagerness towards it is a fissure. still, he goes out of his way to keep things casual and light. he's not in a rush. let me enjoy you, he'd told the boy once, and he means it still.

but when sasuke looks at him like that and puts the whole of his heart into that single word — cy can only laugh, helplessly, and reach for him. he presses a kiss down against his hair. ）

Stand up. I want to undress you.

（ sasuke had asked to be naked, and the only thing he can do is oblige. ）

[Any impatience after waiting a day for this is tempered by the kiss, his head angled up toward it — and he is, of course, obedient, rising up from the bed to stand in front of Cy in that limited space.]

Why? [A familiar furrow knits his brow.] ... Usually you ask me to undress myself.

[Observant of every act and seeming ritual formed between them by now, this doesn't escape his notice.]

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