chokuto

（ 'too long' oh my god, sasuke, please.

he lifts a hand up and just swats at the back of sasuke's head — more to ruffle his hair than make actual impact. ）

Sasuke, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. There's no such thing as a perfectly sane, healthy, well-adjusted adult. We are all fucked up in one way or another. But kids are resilient, and you have so much love to give — you'll learn the rest. You might mess them up, sure. But you might not. And isn't that worth trying?

（ he nests closer, wrapping himself around sasuke in a way that leaves no space between their bodies. ）

You know, in the last world I was from, an eighteen year old is barely even considered an adult in most cultures. For the most part, they aren't expected to have their shit together or know what they want to do with their lives, or have even picked or started a career path yet. Your world puts an incredible amount of pressure and strain on people far too young, and I know it's hard to set that aside — but you can, here. I'll help you.

[He mock-fights against that hand in his hair, but not enough to free himself — and certainly all struggle stalls as soon as he's wrapped up deeper into the embrace, head tucked neatly under a chin. It's a position he has come to crave, enjoying the shelter of warmth and the vibration of Cy's voice in his throat close to an ear.

It feels safe.]

You make me want to try.

[They're still on the subject of teaching, but his heart has gone further than that — all of Cy's positive influence, all of the desire to be with him, compounded in the want for family. Children terrify him, but less when he's held in these arms.]

Adults might be easier, but I'm also not the best with people. I tend to be too blunt. In the past, I never cared if I offended someone for speaking my mind. [was he wrong tho] You're good with them. Other people. You've had a lot of practice, I imagine.

（ he makes a soft murmur of sound that manifests more as a warm rumble, pressing a kiss to sasuke's hair. ）

I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

（ there's a gentle little nudge to his shoulder. ）

You often say you're bad at something like you're trying to reinforce it to yourself, or like you announce it as a form of penance. You aren't bad with people — you said it yourself, I've had practice. You haven't had that chance. Sweetheart, if you met me... even after Tak, I would've blown you outta the water with how rude and blunt I was back then.

（ he'd been more withdrawn, perhaps — but he hadn't been interested in connections, then. in seeking solace in other people. that had taken centuries to build up. ）

[There's a soft sigh at that nudge, and he hooks his chin over Cy's shoulder, right hand slipping beneath the hem of a shirt to find warm skin.]

You may be right.

[It's in his nature to be critical of himself — after a childhood of expected perfection, after an adolescence spent learning how to excel in only one thing. He does wonder how it would be to meet Cy so young, although the thought does not go so far. It's difficult to imagine Cy as rude or blunt against the picture of the man he's come to know.]

I don't think I could sit through a lesson with you formally. [At this point, they've ventured enough times into kink surrounding that dynamic that his perception is tainted, probably.] I wouldn't be able to focus.

（ he laughs, but you know what? sasuke is very likely not wrong. ）

You'd be desperately imagining me bending you over a desk and fucking you, huh? Naughty boy, didn't turn your homework in on time.

（ it's a gentle little foray back into it, mindful of how their last session had gone. ）

We can do that. You know it's not really... the situation or the act I'm into, it's just — you. Whatever we do makes it good, because it's you.

[Don't call him out like that.]

You put it in my head from the beginning. [So if he is imagining himself bent over a desk as Cy fucks him during a lesson, the fault belongs primarily to Cy.] ... It's just you.

[An echo, murmured against the slope of Cy's throat.]

I feel the same. I can't believe, sometimes — what we've done together. And how much I enjoyed it, because it was you. I don't think I would have ever let myself be... seen that way, if I hadn't met you.

Oh, I have thoroughly corrupted you.

（ zero shame about it, either. his hand seeks out sasuke's in the nest of their blankets, and twines their fingers together before lifting it to press a kiss against his knuckles. ）

Give me another six months, I'll work you all the way up to a glory hole.

（ his thumb brushes across the back of those knuckles, building a topographical map of all the places they've been broken and healed and broken again. as if by doing it, this simple act, he will better commit all the dimensions of his body to memory. ）

It's a gift, you know? How you are for me. I don't take it for granted. I never could.

I don't either, with you.

[Corruption in progress as we speak.]

... What's a glory hole?

（ that pulls a laugh out of him, a deep and throaty sound. ）

Christ. Okay. So it's basically a hole that you have sex through in some capacity. Sometimes the anonymity is the point, sometimes the simulated anonymity is the point. I don't really want to share you, of course, but I can't deny that I'd enjoy having you sit on the other side of a wall, sequestered away from the crowd, while you suck my cock — normally when people say glory holes, they think of cocksucking, for the record — or take it up the ass from me.

[Sasuke — blushes. A full flush of color across the face, each word out of Cy's mouth more than he could have possibly guessed from what was an innocent question.]

Oh. [???] Um.

[It's an evocative portrait; of course he's imagining it.]

If no one could see me... I suppose that's fine.

Edited 2024-05-15 04:00 (UTC)

（ he raises his eyebrows, and then, in utter playfulness: ）

Okay, I guess I can revise that timeline estimate.

（ sluttification intensifies, actually???

more seriously — ）

I'd make sure of it. （ a soft little stroke to his hair. ） Never more than you can take, always.

We'll see.

[Okay, maybe he is too willing to jump at Cy's every suggestion. (No regrets.)]

I trust you. If there's something you want to try, then I want to try it with you.

[Sasuke tilts his head, angling for a kiss so he doesn't have to think about how hot his face is burning.]

... Also, I want to learn farming. Properly.

（ he laughs, the sound half smothered against sasuke's shoulder as he leans in and drags his teeth against him in something too affectionate to be called a bite. ）

I'll teach you. It's mostly just hard work.

（ which sasuke is already well acquainted with, so. the rest, the minutiae, is easy. ）

I can do that.

[An echo of Cy's own thoughts spoken nonetheless between them as he squirms in the embrace, pushing Cy flat in order to lay more purposefully across his chest.]

I want to see you working. In your element.

（ one hand is lifted, automatic, to rest against sasuke's nape, fingers gently carding at his hair. ）

You mean you want to see me all sweaty and shirtless threshing grain in a field, huh?

（ his tone is knowing. playful, but a little smug. ）

Chaff gets everywhere, though. And it sticks to you. （ a beat. then: ） What's your opinion on basil?

Yes.

[Caught, there's no point denying it — the image of Cy in his mind, golden skin beneath a hot sun, muscles bare and slick with sweat under the toil of hard work. Sasuke lifts his chin at the pet through his hair, nosing closer.]

That's fine. I'd just want to look at you. [The question furrows his brow, curious.] The herb? I've used it for cooking. It's better when fresh.

I am a sight to behold.

（ better that than bathed in blood, at any rate. the legacy lives more in his mind than in any reality — he's been removed from active violence for so long, but it does leave a stain. ）

It goes well with tomatoes.

[Sasuke just hums, knowing by now that lack of humility is hard-won — a strength of will, of personhood, that he admires.]

We should plant some, then.

（ joke's on you: that's just how he gets away with it. ）

We will.

（ we save the plants for marriage in this house!! ）

Feelin' better?

Yes.

[His eyes have fallen partway closed from the hand in his hair, but now he cranes to kiss the corner of Cy's mouth with gratitude.]

You're good at that. Helping me feel better. I never realized how bad it was before, perhaps because I was so used to it.

When you live alongside pain long enough, you forget what it's like to breathe without it.

（ his tone is soft and pensive, but there's a warmth to it, patterned down in the words as he tugs sasuke in for another kiss. ）

You help me too, you know.

[He doesn't argue, some part of him knowing that Cy is right even if the help might be unequal — that Cy is so much better at marshaling himself, simply due to how much experience he has. And it does make him feel good to know he's done something for the man in return for everything done for him.]

With something besides good sex?

[Delivered dryly, he pulls Cy's arm up and around his shoulders so he can burrow into a warm chest.]

Edited 2024-05-20 18:08 (UTC)

Well, the smart-ass behaviour helps keep me in line.

（ you fucking dweeb. he rubs a hand through sasuke's hair, deliberately mussing it up. ）

When do you want to get started on the prep for tonight? Or do you want to put it off for a day or two? I'm okay with either.

Put it off?

[After he was just cruelly edged into an unexpected orgasm? Sasuke huffs, stirring some of the hair fallen into his face from that touch.]

We can get started for tonight. I'm ready.

Okay.

（ he tugs sasuke upwards a little so he can lean in and nose gently at his cheek. ）

Fair warning, I'll probably need some aftercare after the fact.

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