chokuto

[And like that, the snarl of emotion lingering in him is gone. He drops the toy onto a towel, then rolls it up to be more thoroughly cleaned later and sets the bundle aside.]

Lay down with me and kiss me. Talk to me about something. [He could go a lifetime and it still wouldn't be enough 'gross and affectionate' with this man.] I want you to fuck me in my room during that scene, like you promised. Not yet.

[That anticipation is a burning flame in him now.]

（ obligingly, he nests beside sasuke, slinging a leg over him, resuming that gentle contact for its own sake. his fingers chase up one hip, across to his flank, and then repeat in a soothing repetition of motion. he does kiss him, a slow and tender thing that's more about intimacy than the specific throughput of the touch. ）

I mentioned the teaching. （ it's as good a topic as any. and it's something he thinks sasuke would like to know more about. ） Usually it's math, or engineering or architecture. I don't really teach kids so much, normally it's adults — but every once in a while it's a younger crowd. Sometimes you need that enthusiasm and joy, you know?

（ his voice is just a little faraway as he speaks. ）

It's been a long time since I've done that, though. I miss it — I enjoy teaching for its own sake. Maybe it's because I get to live long enough to see the way that teaching people echoes outwards. You know, you stop off in a little village and teach people how to do basic civil engineering for irrigation and so on and so forth, and then in five hundred years it's a thriving metropolis that leads their nation in the practice.

（ he breathes out, slow. he doesn't need to explain to sasuke, of all people, that he finds peace so much more in the process of creation than in destruction. he's not so naïve to think that he alone can build a brighter future for a person, a place, a culture, a people — but he knows that he's helped. and that's enough. ）

If you could take anything you know now — or learn anything — and teach it to others, what would you do?

Teaching suits you.

[A comment meant with sincerity as he tucks closer into the embrace, settled by the weight of Cy's leg over his body and the pattern of fingertips in their aimless course. It makes sense to him — Cy would want to have a positive influence over people, no matter how small, and he is intelligent, engaging, patient. He fits that picture of authority well, certainly even more for the fact that he is able to see the outcome.]

... I haven't thought about it. In my world, many shinobi go on to become the sensei of a team of genin. [He glances to Cy, studies those familiar features. He could map them with eyes closed.] Genin are the lowest rank, usually they've just graduated the Academy. I was twelve when I became a genin. [As a reference point.]

It's not something I've imagined for myself, even if I might be an ideal candidate for that sort of role. All I have to teach are the skills I've learned on the battlefield. And I don't believe I'd handle... children well, as students.

[He falls quiet, seeming to stew over this, uncertain of how to explain his thoughts.]

I'd like to learn more things, however. I suppose I could start there.

Edited (i always mix up the age) 2024-05-14 02:13 (UTC)

（ will he ever learn something about sasuke's world that doesn't make him angry, asking for a friend. he leans in and presses a kiss to sasuke's shoulder, and then: ）

There's a lot of transferable skills between the battlefield and even a peaceful life. Strategy, restraint, compassion, awareness of your surroundings — those can be valuable to anyone, anywhere.

（ and the part about children, he nuzzles in against his cheek. ）

You would. It would just take some work — and you're good at that part. It's okay even if you make mistakes, because showing that to kids is valuable. If you teach them it's okay to fail because the more important thing is trying again, that's something they can internalize and build from.

（ and given what he's said of itachi, that was something that dogged his steps in his own childhood. striving to some unobtainable standard. ）

But learning is always a good foundation to start from. Any grand ideas?

[He's quiet at Cy's encouragement, clearly giving it deeper thought even if he can't say that he is convinced. There are moments where Cy makes him want to believe it could be different — and perhaps this is one of those times.]

I wouldn't want to... mess them up.

[Breeding may be his kink, but the actual thought of having a malleable little human in his hand is a terrifying prospect. How many times can he make a mistake before it becomes an irreversible negative influence?]

And I'm not certain. I became interested in learning new languages, and math, because of you... but I won't be knowledgeable enough to teach on those subjects. At this age, it would take too long to become an expert.

[hello i am not a whole healthy person, also i expected to be dead by now]

（ 'too long' oh my god, sasuke, please.

he lifts a hand up and just swats at the back of sasuke's head — more to ruffle his hair than make actual impact. ）

Sasuke, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. There's no such thing as a perfectly sane, healthy, well-adjusted adult. We are all fucked up in one way or another. But kids are resilient, and you have so much love to give — you'll learn the rest. You might mess them up, sure. But you might not. And isn't that worth trying?

（ he nests closer, wrapping himself around sasuke in a way that leaves no space between their bodies. ）

You know, in the last world I was from, an eighteen year old is barely even considered an adult in most cultures. For the most part, they aren't expected to have their shit together or know what they want to do with their lives, or have even picked or started a career path yet. Your world puts an incredible amount of pressure and strain on people far too young, and I know it's hard to set that aside — but you can, here. I'll help you.

[He mock-fights against that hand in his hair, but not enough to free himself — and certainly all struggle stalls as soon as he's wrapped up deeper into the embrace, head tucked neatly under a chin. It's a position he has come to crave, enjoying the shelter of warmth and the vibration of Cy's voice in his throat close to an ear.

It feels safe.]

You make me want to try.

[They're still on the subject of teaching, but his heart has gone further than that — all of Cy's positive influence, all of the desire to be with him, compounded in the want for family. Children terrify him, but less when he's held in these arms.]

Adults might be easier, but I'm also not the best with people. I tend to be too blunt. In the past, I never cared if I offended someone for speaking my mind. [was he wrong tho] You're good with them. Other people. You've had a lot of practice, I imagine.

（ he makes a soft murmur of sound that manifests more as a warm rumble, pressing a kiss to sasuke's hair. ）

I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

（ there's a gentle little nudge to his shoulder. ）

You often say you're bad at something like you're trying to reinforce it to yourself, or like you announce it as a form of penance. You aren't bad with people — you said it yourself, I've had practice. You haven't had that chance. Sweetheart, if you met me... even after Tak, I would've blown you outta the water with how rude and blunt I was back then.

（ he'd been more withdrawn, perhaps — but he hadn't been interested in connections, then. in seeking solace in other people. that had taken centuries to build up. ）

[There's a soft sigh at that nudge, and he hooks his chin over Cy's shoulder, right hand slipping beneath the hem of a shirt to find warm skin.]

You may be right.

[It's in his nature to be critical of himself — after a childhood of expected perfection, after an adolescence spent learning how to excel in only one thing. He does wonder how it would be to meet Cy so young, although the thought does not go so far. It's difficult to imagine Cy as rude or blunt against the picture of the man he's come to know.]

I don't think I could sit through a lesson with you formally. [At this point, they've ventured enough times into kink surrounding that dynamic that his perception is tainted, probably.] I wouldn't be able to focus.

（ he laughs, but you know what? sasuke is very likely not wrong. ）

You'd be desperately imagining me bending you over a desk and fucking you, huh? Naughty boy, didn't turn your homework in on time.

（ it's a gentle little foray back into it, mindful of how their last session had gone. ）

We can do that. You know it's not really... the situation or the act I'm into, it's just — you. Whatever we do makes it good, because it's you.

[Don't call him out like that.]

You put it in my head from the beginning. [So if he is imagining himself bent over a desk as Cy fucks him during a lesson, the fault belongs primarily to Cy.] ... It's just you.

[An echo, murmured against the slope of Cy's throat.]

I feel the same. I can't believe, sometimes — what we've done together. And how much I enjoyed it, because it was you. I don't think I would have ever let myself be... seen that way, if I hadn't met you.

Oh, I have thoroughly corrupted you.

（ zero shame about it, either. his hand seeks out sasuke's in the nest of their blankets, and twines their fingers together before lifting it to press a kiss against his knuckles. ）

Give me another six months, I'll work you all the way up to a glory hole.

（ his thumb brushes across the back of those knuckles, building a topographical map of all the places they've been broken and healed and broken again. as if by doing it, this simple act, he will better commit all the dimensions of his body to memory. ）

It's a gift, you know? How you are for me. I don't take it for granted. I never could.

I don't either, with you.

[Corruption in progress as we speak.]

... What's a glory hole?

（ that pulls a laugh out of him, a deep and throaty sound. ）

Christ. Okay. So it's basically a hole that you have sex through in some capacity. Sometimes the anonymity is the point, sometimes the simulated anonymity is the point. I don't really want to share you, of course, but I can't deny that I'd enjoy having you sit on the other side of a wall, sequestered away from the crowd, while you suck my cock — normally when people say glory holes, they think of cocksucking, for the record — or take it up the ass from me.

[Sasuke — blushes. A full flush of color across the face, each word out of Cy's mouth more than he could have possibly guessed from what was an innocent question.]

Oh. [???] Um.

[It's an evocative portrait; of course he's imagining it.]

If no one could see me... I suppose that's fine.

Edited 2024-05-15 04:00 (UTC)

（ he raises his eyebrows, and then, in utter playfulness: ）

Okay, I guess I can revise that timeline estimate.

（ sluttification intensifies, actually???

more seriously — ）

I'd make sure of it. （ a soft little stroke to his hair. ） Never more than you can take, always.

We'll see.

[Okay, maybe he is too willing to jump at Cy's every suggestion. (No regrets.)]

I trust you. If there's something you want to try, then I want to try it with you.

[Sasuke tilts his head, angling for a kiss so he doesn't have to think about how hot his face is burning.]

... Also, I want to learn farming. Properly.

（ he laughs, the sound half smothered against sasuke's shoulder as he leans in and drags his teeth against him in something too affectionate to be called a bite. ）

I'll teach you. It's mostly just hard work.

（ which sasuke is already well acquainted with, so. the rest, the minutiae, is easy. ）

I can do that.

[An echo of Cy's own thoughts spoken nonetheless between them as he squirms in the embrace, pushing Cy flat in order to lay more purposefully across his chest.]

I want to see you working. In your element.

（ one hand is lifted, automatic, to rest against sasuke's nape, fingers gently carding at his hair. ）

You mean you want to see me all sweaty and shirtless threshing grain in a field, huh?

（ his tone is knowing. playful, but a little smug. ）

Chaff gets everywhere, though. And it sticks to you. （ a beat. then: ） What's your opinion on basil?

Yes.

[Caught, there's no point denying it — the image of Cy in his mind, golden skin beneath a hot sun, muscles bare and slick with sweat under the toil of hard work. Sasuke lifts his chin at the pet through his hair, nosing closer.]

That's fine. I'd just want to look at you. [The question furrows his brow, curious.] The herb? I've used it for cooking. It's better when fresh.

I am a sight to behold.

（ better that than bathed in blood, at any rate. the legacy lives more in his mind than in any reality — he's been removed from active violence for so long, but it does leave a stain. ）

It goes well with tomatoes.

[Sasuke just hums, knowing by now that lack of humility is hard-won — a strength of will, of personhood, that he admires.]

We should plant some, then.

（ joke's on you: that's just how he gets away with it. ）

We will.

（ we save the plants for marriage in this house!! ）

Feelin' better?

Yes.

[His eyes have fallen partway closed from the hand in his hair, but now he cranes to kiss the corner of Cy's mouth with gratitude.]

You're good at that. Helping me feel better. I never realized how bad it was before, perhaps because I was so used to it.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject