chokuto

Main lobby. I'll be back at my room in a few minutes.

[He'd started to head back there after Cy's post punched him in the feefees.]

Okay.

Meet you there.

（ and, true to his word, he'll be sitting cross-legged on sasuke's bed whenever he shows up. as one does. ）

[The door unlatches upon identification of his Watch, and Sasuke appears, slipping into that small space quietly. Only the small yellow bulb by the bed is lit, but it's enough illumination to see the whole room given its cramped size — and his heart beats a little quicker finding Cy on his bed in the wake of what they've been discussing.

A step over, and he sits too, not fully beside Cy. But still near.]

Sorry. I know you were busy with that post.

I'm pretty sure squabbling with people on the internet can wait.

（ he's been on earth to see the advent of the world wide web, okay? he's seen things you couldn't imagine, glittering c-beams off the shoulder of orion, etc etc. he doesn't try to bridge the space in any overt physical sense, but he does hold out a hand in case sasuke would find comfort in the small physicality of the act. ）

You okay?

[The day he turns down Cy's hand outheld to him, something will be gravely wrong.

He lays down his own over top of it, fingers threading in that comfortable pattern even as his eyes slip down to the floor, averted for the gravity of this conversation.]

Did you mean what you said? If I asked — if I wanted it only to be me.

[Disbelief and distrust are scars in him, badly healed over, so he needs to affirm this with a certainty that will feel real first.]

（ he laces their fingers together, but by that same stroke lifts their joined hands and uses it to tip sasuke's chin towards him. he ducks his head enough to make eye contact, and holds it. ）

If you ask, if you want, if you need it — it'll just be you and me.

（ his tone's solemn, but sure. ）

[It takes time for the response to surface, but he does will himself to meet Cy's eyes — his own expression lined with uncertainty, downcast.]

If we were somewhere else, [in a low voice, fingers tightening over Cy's] then yes. I'd want that.

[To put this into speech is terrifying, as if he's set some fragile, glass-edged part of himself out into the open to be shattered by a blow. Yet the simple proximity of Cy's body helps the burden, the words said to him over the course of their time together like a balm to soothe the ache.]

But we're here. It's too dangerous, for both of us. This place is unpredictable. So... I'm not going to set that restriction. I just don't how I'll be able to handle the way it makes me feel.

（ he lifts their hands up, and kisses sasuke's knuckles gently without breaking eye contact. ）

Then let's find a middle ground. Something you can handle for now. And we can revisit it down the road to make sure it's working for us.

（ why do you think he's so horny for communication, actually? ）

Besides, the whole jealousy thing is kinda a turn-on. Don't get me wrong, I know it's an unpleasant emotion to experience, but sometimes it's nice to know somebody wants you all to themselves.

[It's hard to remain in the gnarl of his own emotions for long. Speaking with Cy has an anesthetic effect on him — as if the act of their communication gently, carefully drains the injury of its pain.]

I felt a little like that when we were taking a shower. I wanted you to be... unwilling to share me with someone else.

[Using the anchor of their joined hands, he pushes himself in closer, so that his thigh brushes up against Cy's folded legs.]

What do you suggest?

Trust me, I don't want to share you with anyone else.

（ that, too, has the deep bite of sincerity to it. the way his intonation hooks beneath the ribs and carves a channel there. ）

Just because I can manage my jealousy doesn't mean I don't feel it either. It just means I've had the practice.

（ knives, as it happens, are a speciality of his. ）

There's a few ways we could approach it. Rules about certain acts, or certain people. Some partners keep a veto list, like — 'that person's fine, that person's a no', and they discuss things first. Some people specify no kissing, or no penetrative acts. Some people set aside certain days to spend in each other's company, or it's a 'go out and do whatever but be home by a certain time' thing. What do you think would work for you?

[Perhaps it shouldn't, but there's a comfort to know it isn't only him, that Cy feels the same even though he may have had more practice mastering the worst of it. And there is also a deeper, primal satisfaction — out of place, maybe, in this conversation that is approaching a healthy compromise — to have Cy's admission. It is one he will hold protectively close to his chest.]

I don't know that I can choose specifics. [It's so black and white to him. The whole act, or nothing.] I'll consider it.

There's no one who comes to mind yet that I wouldn't want you to engage. [Hm.] There is one other man here who I've kissed. It was before you and I met — Rokurou Rangetsu. I was also under the influence of something I consumed from the environment.

[Comparing what he feels for Cy, it's easier to put into perspective. It's more emotional.]

... You said it before, the acts of kindness and giving time. I don't want to share those things with anyone else. Or... the space we have together when we're alone. Our rooms. Is that possible?

I think we should probably have a blanket agreement that anything that happens under the influence of the crazy shit here doesn't count. The aphro, or whatever. That wouldn't be fair to either of us — we already know it fucks people up, all that would do is add a sense of shame and guilt.

（ but he nods, filing the name away. he'll ask about the guy at some point, but there's no place for it in the flexion of conversation now. ）

Yeah, of course. Room's off limits. The time and acts of service are yours. I also won't tell people some of the shit I've told you about my life — about Tak, or my first name. I want you to hold those things. Doesn't rule out people finding that shit out another way, but they won't hear it from me of my own volition.

[A nod. It helps to talk this out — to set these boundaries. He didn't think that it would.]

You're right. Those situations aren't something we're consenting to, in any case.

[Which is an uncomfortable reality, but it also shows that Sasuke has paid attention to the necessity of consent. How important it is to Cy. And it touches him deeply, that Cy would trust him with those pieces of himself, carefully safeguarded against the world.]

Is there anything you don't want me to share or do with someone else?

（ he thinks about it, which perhaps drives home just how seriously he's taking it. slow, concentric circles are smoothed out against his wrist, increasing in size until it's more a soft swipe of parenthesis across the veins and then narrowed back down again to a smaller circle. ）

I can think of a couple small things. You're allowed to veto them if they don't work for you. But when we were on that date （ yes it was a date sorry you have to deal with it now ） and I was handfeeding you, that's the sort of intimate thing it would probably bother me if you did it with someone else.

（ look, having sasuke lick cream off his fingers was probably the first overtly sexual thing the boy had ever done of his own free will in his life, and he kinda wants ownership of that. the second, though... ）

If you want anyone else to fuck you up the ass, that's fine （ crass again, his favourite way of speaking — ） but I wanna fuck you first. Thoughts?

[It's okay, he knew it was a date the minute Cy asked him.

The specific intimacy of the handfeeding earns another nod, a little distracted by the leisurely stroke of a wrist, as he always is when Cy touches him. That second stipulation, though — a frown curves his mouth, and he's unable to conceal how Cy's crudeness affects him. Color rises, unfortunately noticeable on a pale complexion.]

How would that work? If I was going to do it with someone else, [which honestly has not occurred to him, still reeling from their experience together —] would I come to see you first?

Yeah. I mean, spur of the moment shit or aphro notwithstanding, but if it's something you're planning for.

（ look, he knows that sasuke is probably not going to run out and throw himself ass first at the nearest guy. but it's a nice compromise, as these things go. ）

[A brow arches, and he leans, nudging one shoulder against Cy's.]

Okay. What's your reasoning for that? You explained the handfeeding.

（ excuse him while he chokes on a laugh. no, the laugh is not at sasuke (well, not at what he said) so much as pre-emptive knowledge of how he's going to take what cy has to say. ）

Oh my god. I took your virginity! The boldly untresspassed sanctity of your whole-ass anal cavity belongs to me, Sasuke.

（ he is so shameless it actually hurts, and as he says it he just hauls sasuke in closer and then chucks him down on the bed so he can lean over him, pinning his hand to the shoddy, shitty mattress with a slight thump of not entirely gentle command. ）

It's an ownership thing. I want you to think of me when other men are inside you. No easier way to have that happen than if I've recently marked my territory, huh?

[can you please not use words like ANAL CAVITY during this serious discussion]

You— [becomes closer to oof as he's bodily upended onto his own bed, Cy's looming presence above.] ... You're ridiculous.

[Is his face now red as a cherry tomato? Yes, though it's more for the latter explanation that follows than Cy's initial theatrics. Ownership. Unbidden, he feels warm everywhere.]

Fine. I don't think you'd have to do that to get me to think about you, but I don't mind.

( he grins triumphantly and bends down to steal a kiss which promptly turns into an all-out smotherfest of like affection. hope u like kisses, sasuke. )

Okay, now what about you?

[He puts up a modicum of defense so as to feel believable without actually pushing Cy away. Unhand him, scoundrel!!

But he sobers into a serious tone for the answer.]

Don't call them what you call me. That endearment. [Sweetheart.] And... if you can help it, if it's something you can plan or control, don't come inside of them.

That's it.

Turnabout's fair play. Sweetheart was already yours in my head anyway.

( it's said approvingly. pleased, evidently, at sasuke's growing capacity for communication. )

That a full blanket ban on all bodily orifices?

[Can't believe he's fixed Sasuke Uchiha.]

No. Just what we did. [Ahh, he should be specific — but that crassness is difficult for him.] The mouth is fine. Not... anywhere else.

（ turn him lose on the uchiha clan, he'll fuck every last one of them to sanity.

well.

maybe not madara. hashirama made that bed and he can lie in it, tbh.

cy slings a thigh across sasuke's hips and brings his hand up, kissing at his fingers.

very gently, ）

I do sleep with women too. It's okay if you don't want me to jizz in some gal's vagina — but is it going to bother you if I'm with women at all?

[Thankfully they're all very dead so Sasuke can't get jealous about Cy sleeping through his family tree.

That, he considers, tucking himself with neat familiarity in against Cy's body.]

I don't think it bothers me. But — do you prefer it? To being with men.

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