chokuto

（ he makes a considering sound, adjusting where needed so that sasuke can curl in close. ）

That's a good idea. I can just act like myself but an asshole. （ a bit of a laugh, then: ） That one's not hard.

I liked how you were in the genjutsu. It felt like you were... powerful. In control.

[Which, perhaps, is not dissimilar to Cy's personality already — but yes. More asshole.]

What sort of roles do you normally enjoy? You couldn't have known, at the Naked Yolk, that it would be — a provocation for me. What made you choose it originally?

Mm.

（ that particular personality is easy to dredge up. it's just... 'what if there was nothing stopping him from being like kulo vayn'. yet even with that weight, there's no — guilt about behaving in that fashion. as long as it's something he can step out of at the end. ）

I mean... most of the roleplay I do has some foundation in someone I've been. （ let him try to explain this without sounding like he's got a psychological multiplicity — ） It tends to bring the acting in more tightly, if it's something you've got experience in. I have actually been a teacher, more than once. Usually in places like colleges or universities, where looking relatively young in comparison to some of the others means I have to behave more formally to get taken seriously. And the way I act now, with you — I haven't always been like that. The core of who I am stays the same, but I adapt... the way I hold myself, the way I talk, the language I choose, based on the cultural perceptions of where I am. That role was still me, it was just contextually different.

（ he lifts one shoulder a little, half a shrug. ）

Plus, I was kinda gauging your reaction to Tseng and leaning into that kinda austere presentation of authority. But I can see how it would've been a shock seeing me acting like that when it's not what you're used to.

[It's interesting to listen to Cy talk about himself this way — as it is a demonstration of the extent of a mind that goes beyond the boundaries of one single life, that is greater than one man in regard to lived experience. It is like Cy has worn many identities for the sake of survival, one long mission endured across the universe.

Sasuke, however — stops at that last remark. He is in the middle of rooting around behind him for a towel to clean between his legs, if he's not getting fingered, because the stickiness is starting to annoy him. But that derails his thoughts entirely off a cliff.]

Tseng? [There is more he wants to comment on, but this rises up first, most prevalently.] He's not — I mean, he's so different from you. [Here we go again.] So, perhaps you're right. It did surprise me.

[Then why did he think of Itachi? That particular revelation will happen another time.]

I was sensitive to the lack of emotion you were displaying. I know it was... role play, but it felt cold. [His true trigger, in the face of years puzzling out his brother's feelings toward him, before and after.] Is there a way you prefer acting?

（ okay as much as he's enjoying just endlessly teasing sasuke he recognizes That Particular Squirm, and so he pulls one of the hand towels down from the rack of shelves above the bed and starts cleaning him up himself. that soft partner intimacy ftw or something. ）

A lot of those differences are superficial. Surface behaviour. But how he talked about BDSM and his interest... that's pretty damn similar.

（ tseng doesn't quite have the weight of the history there, but. clearly, some things move in parallel lines. as he nudges sasuke's thighs apart and gently wipes at the slick smears of come and the glaze of this body's arousal. ）

I can work with 'not cold', though. Or I can stay close to what we did in the genjutsu, and if you want to try something else we can talk it out first?

[Sasuke simply... lets him take over in the process of that cleaning, though it warms him in a way he is not always able to vocalize, the act itself so tender and affectionate that it takes his breath. He has to swallow to clear away the unbidden rise of emotion.]

I trust you. It was also the context, that time. This is different — and I want you to act in a way that you enjoy as well.

[He rests his cheek on the pillow, just watching Cy through a curtain of dark lashes and strands of hair.]

Should I change my body back now?

Sweetheart, the only factor in my enjoyment is that it's with you. How I act is just window dressing. But if it's your body I'm touching, and your tears I wipe away, that's all that matters to me.

（ let's talk poetically about cnc, the thread. also, at the question his hand does sort of still between sasuke's thighs, and then the towel is pulled away. ）

Yeah. （ it's said just a little thickly. less about the body itself, and more about all that goddamn pregnancy talk and the regretful shift to a body that's less physically able to conceive, cutting the strings on an inhabited fantasy. ） If we're going to do that scene, I want to work you open now. Toy in for the date, and then when you go back to your room I want you to put a plug in. One of the bigger ones we were using for the training, okay? I'll roll it up into the roleplay.

（ he doesn't know how this particular jutsu is dispelled, so in case sasuke needs his hand for it again he offers it out. ）

Do I know you in this fantasy, or have I fucked you before?

[The reassurance settles like cool water in cupped hands, and he curls closer once the towel is gone, nosing at Cy's chin, reveling in the scrape of stubble and familiar hard line of the man's jaw — an affectionate, cat-like rub of contact.]

Okay.

[To all of it: Cy's reinforcement of care, and the instructions of preparation for later tonight. Excitement is difficult to tamp down in the moment, gathering instead deep in his belly as he dispels the jutsu with a quick, easy hand signal between them, that form gone in a sudden blink with his own to replace it. There is really not much difference, lines angular where curves once sloped, chest flat and toned, waist trimly narrow.]

I didn't think about that. Maybe you know me, or at least you've seen me, but we haven't fucked before. [He shifts on the bed, drawn a little further into the fantasy.] I wouldn't let you, so you have to take it.

Okay.

（ he draws sasuke closer into a tangle of limbs. the urge to fuck him anew is wholly responsible for the way his dick twitches, half-hard against sasuke's hip when he's pulled near. ）

Do you want me to be cruel and taunting? Or do you just want it to be desperation born out of want?

（ all these little decisions, leading up to a scene that's safe and agreed to. ）

[They are never going to take a shower and go on their date at this point.]

Can it only be one or the other? I like when you... [say mean things to me??] speak down to me in that way, but I also want to feel wanted.

[When making decisions on what flavor of CNC he wants is actually the hardest part.]

（ he just laughs, pulling sasuke in to steal another kiss. ）

That's the easy part. Wanting you.

（ as evidenced by the fact his dick just will not stOP. but hey. as you do.

the conversation carries them through the next quarter-hour, setting parameters and ensuring that whatever they do — they've both agreed to the outcomes. from there, they visit the showers, and cy digs that threatened toy out of a box. it hasn't been used yet — and when he demonstrates the mechanism for its expansion it's a testament to how much work they've done and how far they've come that sasuke's reaction is more interest than trepidation. cy lets him use the remote and visualize the various features it has, and once sasuke's satisfied with it cy works him open and nests it inside him.

he gives sasuke the grace of a trial run, testing the various settings on him so he has that awareness of how it physically feels as well — and once he's dragged the boy through one more messy orgasm (neatly cleaned) they head off on their date.

cy's sprawled out on a picnic blanket, various foodstuffs spread around them in a pattern more haphazard than deliberate. the toy is set to a low vibration, and cy is just grinning over at sasuke as he pops a grape into his mouth. ）

So, I gotta know. What's your favourite flower?

[The trial run has done nothing but make him more anticipatory for the date itself. He's grateful to have talked Cy down from the restaurant when they arrive, checkered blanket laid out on the soft grass of an open area of the Cloud-Dwelling Gardens — not so public that they're under steady surveillance, but enough of a presence that passersby are a common sight on the proper garden paths.

Overhead, an artificial sky is deepening to the indigo blues of late afternoon. A tree beside them provides cool shade, unnecessary in the resort's eternally temperate climate but pleasant scenery. Sasuke watches the man across from him sprawl on the blanket, at ease, as if there isn't a device in his hand that dictates the toy currently nested up his boyfriend's ass. Cy looks calm and in control, as ever.

He's had to try a few different sitting positions before he's found one that doesn't put any undue pressure on the toy — formal seiza, though with legs slightly apart. He has to swallow past a hitch in breath; his focus is slightly blurred, split between Cy's question and the constant, dull vibration inside of him, buried deep. His face is a little red, but that can't be helped given the situation.]

I don't have one. Do you?

（ well, someone clearly has too much focus. not even a single stumble over words? he's impressed. cy gives him a considering look, and then lifts the little remote so sasuke can see it, sort of a playful brace yourself. then: ）

Oh, you know me. Big fan of the lotus. I like the way they flower into bloom.

（ with a cheeky little grin, he pushes the button that makes the various soft, silicon petals of the toy expand outward — not any more than sasuke can take, but certainly enough to feel. ）

Also the best sex position, as we've thoroughly investigated.

[He grits his teeth, that glimpse of the remote enough to tell him what Cy is about to do even if it does not prepare him for the sensation — that thickening inside of him, betrayed by a slight shift of movement on the blanket as he attempts to resettle around it. The stretch aches dully, and he closes his eyes for a rigid moment, too aware of a pair of arm-in-arm strangers passing on the path not far away.]

... I don't believe you — that you have only one favorite. [His voice is thin with breath, but it doesn't shake. His discipline is much more inflexible when they aren't inside the security of their bedroom, apparently.] You've been to so many worlds.

Mmm, but this world has something the others didn't.

（ it may be playfully said, but it doesn't lack for seriousness, and the look in his eyes is so warm and achingly fond. ）

And it's definitely my favourite position with you.

That's not fair.

[Because now he is certainly imagining the lotus position — himself cradled in Cy's lap, so close they share the same breath between endless wet kisses — and all it does is bring back focus, heavily, to the toy in his ass. A poor replacement for Cy's dick, but enough of a reminder for how it feels.

He shifts again, even if all it does is disturb the silicone swollen inside of him, pressing against tight inner muscles enough that he jolts and falls rigidly still again.]

No?

（ he scoops up a little cherry tomato, and leans in close to sasuke to hold it out to him. not quite enough that it'll be easily within his reach — he's going to have to lean, and endure the toy's placement inside him, to accept it. ）

I mean, I told you this was going to be a punishment.

The winner was supposed to enjoy themselves on the date.

[Empty protest. If the flush on his face is any indication, there's certainly pleasure beneath the torment of this punishment. And he is still obedient enough to lean forward, retrieving the red cherry tomato from Cy's fingers — but not without biting at the tips, a sharp little nip that does no damage.

Because — the movement makes him more aware of the toy's place inside of him, as intended. A thick, swollen ache of pressure that fills his hole, shifting up against a spot in him momentarily spiking electric sensitivity straight through his body. Sasuke's teeth break the soft skin of the tomato in response, a reflexive chew; he leans back into position, trying not to shake.]

I can barely focus on... eating.

My sweet boy.

（ there's no heat to the statement that isn't warmed by lust, and he traces his fingers along the line of sasuke's jaw as he chews. ）

I can turn it down if you'd like.

[He turns his head, rubbing lips across Cy’s fingers where they touch his chin.]

No. [It comes out on a determined breath, warm against Cy’s hand.] You can turn it up.

[Another shift, feeling the thick shape of the silicone toy inside him, a deep pressure — his eyelids flicker, exhaling sharply.]

（ his breath gusts out in a laugh, and the touch turns into a stroke of sasuke's cheek. it's not the first time that he's looked at sasuke and worried that someone else might have — taken all of his capacity for love, for warmth, for this sweet submission and twisted it into something dark and cruel. but there's something tender held briefly in his gaze, before he reaches for one of the little savory cakes he'd bought for the picnic. ）

Really? （ that's drawn out, speculative. ） And you think you can maintain your composure? Brave man.

（ he breaks off a little piece of the cake and pops it into his own mouth. the gesture is repeated for sasuke moments later. ）

I'll teleport us back to our room if you get overwhelmed, okay? Nothing wrong with that. （ the offer could be to turn the toy off instead, but maybe this is just part of the punishment. ） Otherwise, you know the drill. Pick a number between one and six thousand, nine hundred and forty one.

（ yes, sorry, he's doing Math Shit, as that is certainly not the number of settings the toy has. ）

[He has not fought so hard to hold his composure since — early on, he suspects, back when this was still new and uncharted territory, back when he yet feared Cy's perception of him. As if to be expressive in that way, through vulnerability, might paint him as weak and undesirable. Cy has taught him otherwise with enough evocative praise, so he knows better now; Cy likes to hear him respond, likes to see him react.

This is different, a challenge issued under the circumstances of a punishment. And so he tries to reach for that part of himself once more, finding habit slippery and unpracticed, mouth yielding to the soft piece of cake brought to his lips. Like that first date — and no one else has fed him this way so intimately, per their rules.

A nod to show he understands. That range is vast and seems arbitrary, but he obeys nonetheless.]

Four thousand and one.

（ his mouth quirks up at one corner. ）

Prime number. Divisible only by itself and one. It's got a twin prime, too — 4003. Represented by the Roman numerals: I̅V̅I̅.

（ fun math facts with cy, who has absolutely taught math before. ）

Add the individual numerals together, and you get five.

（ so, he lifts the remote and changes not the intensity — five would be a little too high — but the type of vibration by five little taps. sasuke will feel it cycle through its vibration settings — constant, pulsing, an erratic cadence with little rhyme or reason, a series of stoic morse-code styled vibrations that are sharp and high, and finally a settle into one that starts off discrete and low and builds, and builds, and builds — until the crescendo holds you at the peak of the vibration strength for several desperate seconds and then drops you back to the bottom. ）

Let me feel.

（ he gestures for sasuke to come closer — even knowing it's torment — so he can slip his hand beneath the hem of his shirt and press his palm flat, low on his belly to feel it as it moves through the cycle, little shockwaves felt through skin. ）

[Where normally there would lie fascination toward the subject of math and Cy's proficiency over it, now Sasuke is just too — distracted. He jolts as soon as he senses the vibration change inside of him, remembering how Cy had showed him this feature but not expecting it to be used. He finds himself holding his breath until it settles on the altered mode after five deliberate clicks.

Worse, somehow, than the low-level constancy of that first setting. Like this he cannot ignore it, cannot adjust and acclimate to the sensation deep-seated inside of him — the continual swell keeps him on its edge, brought to a high thrum and dropped back down to near-nothing. Sasuke outright squirms on the blanket where his legs are folded beneath him; even his chosen position is no protection against this.

But he'd never deny Cy. And so, with effort, he drags himself closer in a shuffle of knees and — touches his forehead down against Cy's shoulder with a full-body shiver. He is still mostly silent and unwilling to let the effect show otherwise, but he doesn't stop that warm hand as it finds his belly, only flinches a little at the caress for how sensitive he feels.]

Cy...

Shh.

（ his touch is gentle, skimming across that sensitive spot and then withdrawing. he even rearranges sasuke's shirt neatly, smoothing it down against him as his free hand lifts to card at his hair. ）

Lay down. Put your head in my lap.

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